


The 100 Season 5-7 rewrite: Lexa lives

by BNC



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Relationships, Canon Rewrite, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, F/F, Other, Parents Clarke Griffin/Lexa, all canon living characters, major character deaths still happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 24,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26799349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BNC/pseuds/BNC
Summary: First chapter is a prologue on how Lexa survives 3x07.Season 3B happens the same and Becca helps Clarke in the CoL not Lexa in the Season 3 finale.Season 4 happens exactly the same.Lexa and Clarke find each other in 5x01 at Shallow Valley.Each chapter is an episode of the show from then on. Im trying to write this to be as close to canon as possible. The endgame will be the same (except we get Clexa happily together on that beach)
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Madi, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Lexa & Madi (The 100)
Comments: 55
Kudos: 220





	1. Prologue – 3x07 to 4x13

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write this for 4 years but the fact the show was still airing always stopped me. Now that its over I can finally let myself write this in a way that might make it feel complete.
> 
> I'll be writing this in third person but mostly in Lexa’s POV. It may seem choppy during chapters because I don’t want to be writing out the entire episode as I go. I'll only be writing the parts that would change with Lexa being alive. Hopefully your memory will fill in the gaps with the episode. Ill try and mention all the important plot lines where I can. I want to try and keep everything as close to the episodes as I can but giving Lexa a storyline that would be believable, to the best of my ability without changing too much of the canon.
> 
> Disclaimer: Obviously Lexa is the focus of this story but there will be no Bellamy hate here. I will continue to write his and Clarkes friendship as its portrayed in the show where it matters, he will also develop a friendship with Lexa around season 6 for obvious reasons. However, you can rest assured Clexa is endgame in this story.

\-------------

  
Lexa remembered the sounds of Clarke's cries. The feel of the knife on her neck and the feeling of her mentors in her mind leaving her body. But after that. There was nothing. Lexa was sure she was dead. More than positive she was dead. Was this what it felt to be truly one with the flame?

But then why had they left her? She no longer had the soothing voice of Bekka pramheda, the constant chatter of Heda Maffei or the relentless bloodthirst of Sheidheda. She no longer saw or felt her mentor, Heda Hanbin, the commander before her. It was silent.

Lexa barely remembered this feeling. She had been commander half her life. Her childhood was full of training and fighting and learning with Anya, the fleimkepas and the commander before her. Then she had become commander and received the flame. She had never been alone. Never like this.

Lexa couldn’t move or speak or see. But she often heard things. She remembered the sob of Clarke. So clearly it haunted her.

She didn’t know how much time had passed. She felt her wounds healing and yet she still couldn’t wake. Time stood still. Lexa wasn’t sure if she was paralyzed like this for days or years. She slipped in and out of consciousness without any true sense of who was around her. As her senses returned to her, the first thing she could do was smell. She knew she was no longer in the hustle and bustle of Polis. She couldn’t smell people or the metal of buildings or the food being cooked by the hundreds of people in her home. All she smelled now was trees. Trees and nature. It reminded her of her first home. The home of her childhood. Trikru. After smell was sound. The noises around her became clearer. She could recognise a voice but not hear the words. It was a woman; she often came to check on Lexa. She would talk to her, but Lexa couldn’t comprehend the words. Not yet. She started to focus on small things. The sound of the wind, the wildlife around her. She knew she wasn’t in a populous area. She guessed there was one other person with the woman but no more than that.

She began to taste; aware the woman was feeding her with a watery broth three times a day. Her reflexes swallowing and doing the work for her.

Eventually she began to hear words. The woman was definitely Trikru from her accent but Lexa did not recognise the voice. She willed herself to open her eyes, but her body did not obey her. The woman began to tell Lexa stories and Lexa looked forward to every mealtime when the woman would tell her of her life.

As far as Lexa could work out, the woman had known her mother. Lexa didn’t remember her mother, not really. She had been taken from her at two years old. Trained in Polis with the fleimkepas and the last commander until she became Anya’s second at ten. Commander at twelve.

She remembered as a child a face in her dreams whom she assumed was her mother but felt little attachment to it as time passed. She never knew if her mother still cared or loved her. Lexa had been trained from an early age love was weakness. She didn’t need her mothers love to be commander.

Was it possible that her mothers love had saved her life? twenty years after leaving her?

Lexa didn’t know the true love of a mother. She had heard the stories about Clarkes mother. She had felt affection for the natblidas, but she knew in her heart she couldn’t love them as a mother. They would die, at least all but one of them would and she wouldn’t be around to protect them. So what was the point of love?

But then she remembered Clarke.

Oh how Clarke had made her heart stammer in her chest. She had swooped into her life and changed everything. She had become a hurricane of emotion that Lexa couldn’t control. She had admired her and fallen for her faster than she even fell for Costia. Clarke had changed her mind body and soul and she had died for her.

At least she thought she had.

On that death bed, with Clarke’s tears falling from her face. Lexa felt at peace. Even though she regretted the pain on Clarkes face, regretted the missed opportunities she could have had with Clarke. She felt at peace and safe with the fact that the next commander would protect Clarke. Her legacy would continue, and she had died in place of Clarke. She was okay with that. Clarke could continue to be the revolutionary that she was. She felt contempt in her death.

Or so she had thought.

She never knew the pain and frustration that would come after. The healing process was lengthy and although Lexa had the company of the stranger, she ached to know if Clarke was okay. To know who had won the conclave. Did Aden stay true to his word? Did her legacy survive?

The day she could open her eyes was a strange one. At first everything was blurry. Her irises had to adjust to the light she hadn’t seen, in what she imagined as, days. She found herself in a stone cave. It had a small opening and as her eyes continued to adjust, she saw the wind blowing the bushes outside.

She wasn’t sure when the woman had last been in, but she knew something was different. In her mind she had always imagined a wooden cabin of sorts, so the cave was a shock to her. She wanted to move but couldn’t quite make her limbs move. Was she paralysed? Had the bullet shattered her spine?

No. Lexa was quite sure she could feel the soft fur beneath her toes. Something she knew, from Clarke, wouldn’t have been possible had her back been broken.

She could hear coughing from outside as a figure past the entrance to the cave. She manged to move her head, very slowly, so she could face it. Maybe she could call out to the woman than had taken care of her this whole time.

She didn’t need to. It was only moments that a woman came limping into the cave. At first the woman didn’t register that Lexa was in a new position but suddenly her blistered and scarred face gasped in delight.

“Heda,” she whispered and almost fell towards Lexa’s bed. Lexa mustered up the strength to move. She managed to sit, gasping at the use of her body but managing it all the same. She was weak. So weak. She couldn’t ever remember feeling like this.

“Heda,” the woman was sobbing now. Out of pain? Relief? Lexa wasn’t sure.

“Who are you?” Lexa asked softly.

“I am Acaira Kom Trikru. I am your mother’s sister.” She said coughing towards the end.

“What is happening to you?” She asked reaching out only Lexa was shocked at the sight of her own arms, also blistered, although definitely not as bad as Acaira’s. Hers seemed to have healed but Acaira showed no signs of recovery.

“There is a sickness in the air. There have been rumours, talk of a death wave coming but only some believed it. There was a conclave. One to save us all but only some were chosen. The rest of us will die to the poison.” She explained limping over to sit with Lexa. She reached and Lexa took her hand instantly. Suddenly feeling a wave of emotion for this woman. Gratitude, regret, guilt, admiration and love. Her aunt had kept her alive.

“How am I alive?” Lexa asked her. “I’ve heard your stories as I’ve recovered but you never once said why I’m here or how I survived a gunshot wound to my stomach.”

“You were brought to me by a fleimkepa. After your wound, you were barely alive. Your breathing almost non-existent, your heart rate slow, beating only once or twice a minute but enough for your nightblood to keep you alive. It helped you survive the wound just as it’s helping you survive the poison now. I’ve cared for you for 43 days.” She said coughing between sentences. She leant back against the cave wall barely able to hold her head up.

“Thank you,” Lexa said in a hushed tone. The woman’s eyes closing at the words. Her breath was laboured. Lexa watched, wanting to ask so many questions, wanting to know so much but not wanting to take away Acaira’s last moments.

“You are family…” Acaira managed. “We have all been so proud of you… your mother… knew…” she said slowly, never opening her eyes. Lexa wanted to know what the woman had to say but knew she would never get the answer. Something that would haunt her for years to come Lexa was sure.

There was a sound, a sound Lexa could never imagine or put words to, and she had to shield her eyes from the opening of the cave as a blinding light burst into the cave. She turned away from it as Acaira’s chest stopped and her head fell forward under the weight of her lifeless body.

Lexa stood with all her energy and made her way to the entrance of the cave. Looking out to the grey lifeless land in front of her. Everything was dead, consumed by the death wave. Lexa looked back into the cave where her bed and rations lay. Grateful Acaira had kept them close by for Lexa didn’t know what she was going to do to survive. She saw no life, no movement around her and she feared taking a step outside of the safety of the cave.

For the first time ever. With no fleimkepas, no mentors, no people, no flame or voices in her head. Lexa kom trikru seemed to be completely and utterly alone.


	2. 5x01

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is naturally one of the longest chapters as the episode featured on Clarke and Madi so heavily. Trigedasleng translations at the end of the chapter.

**\-------------**

**40 days after praimfaya**

**\-------------**

Being alone… was nothing like Lexa ever imagined.

After a few days she had enough strength to move Acaira’s body out of the cave. She dug a grave with her bare hands so that Acaira may rest in Trikru land and she sat, staring at the heap of ground before her for a long time. Thinking about how she got here.

As a child she wasn’t taught how to be alone. She was taught to hunt, to fight, to protect and to follow orders. As a commander she learnt to strategize and lead. She learnt how people’s minds work, how they thought and above all she learnt ‘jus drein jus draun’. Revenge. Justice. As commander, she was never alone. Not in her sleep, or her mind, not even in her own chambers. There would always be a guard right outside the door. Costia in her bed. Ambassadors at her court. Titus at her side. The natblidas at her heels. The commanders in her head. Clarke. She had lost them all, one by one.

This feeling was new. It was empty and Lexa wasn’t sure how long she could live with it. Surely others survived. She couldn’t be the last human on earth. Could she?

Lexa knew she would probably die alone, if it wasn’t here in this cave she’d make sure it was at least in an effort to find another human being alive and maybe find some food on the way. So she collected her rations, after all, she only had about fifteen days left and decided to make her way to Polis.

She knew roughly where she was in Trikru territory and followed what little landmarks were left to the path to Polis.

Arriving in Polis turned an emotion in Lexa she didn't know she had anymore. Nostalgia. Her tower had collapsed, nothing but rubble before her. She scavenged some of the surrounding buildings what little there was left but didn’t managed to find much.

Leaving the old bakery, she noticed something odd.

Tyre tracks.

She knew Skaikru had a truck, a rover, Clarke had called it once. Had someone else survived and was driving around looking for other survivors? Was it possible someone was out there?

But who would know how to drive such a machine?

This question frustrated Lexa for days as she followed the tracks. Hoping the storms she saw on the horizon wouldn’t wash away the tracks as she continued.

She noticed they were heading in the direction of Arkadia and felt confident that somehow it was someone from Skaikru that had managed to survive. But how did they survive the sickness? The wave of death? Lexa was no healer, but she was smart and from what she gathered from Acaira. No one without her blood could have survived this. Not on the ground at least.

The dust storms were ravenous, and Lexa continued to hop from town to town for shelter. The tracks of the rover were long gone, and she only hoped to come across someone _somewhere_.

The electrical storms were the worst. She raced for shelter but one of them struck the metal on the bag she was carrying. The pain as it rocked through her body was nothing like she’d felt before. The majority of it fled through her arm and burns appeared on her skin. Burning for what felt like days. The weakness in her arm only grew but she pushed past it, the thought of finding another human being distracting her from the obvious tissue damage the burn had done to her left arm.

By day 50 she had travelled hundreds of miles and knew one of her last hopes would be the town of Doah in Shallow Valley. She knew of a church there, hidden supplies from when she visited as the commander.

A life that seemed like it was from another time.

Hiking over the sand dunes she was struck with awe at the sight.

Shallow Valley was green. She felt like it had been so long since she had seen green. Grass, trees, wildlife. A bird flew overhead, and she smiled. A place she could live.

Lexa wasn’t sure what she felt as she stepped into the town she visited as a young commander. Louwoda Kliron Kru and Trikru were one of the first clans to unite under the command of a previous commander. They had been at Lexa’s side as she took that coalition further. She had always enjoyed visiting here and she chuckled to herself that the one place she never got to see again during her reign had been the one place to survive a wave of death. Her rations were severely limited now and knew she’d have to hunt soon or find the supplies in the church but there was something that set Lexa’s nerves on edge. Something was off. The place was semi-tidy. No one in sight, no bodies. A fire had burned recently, the embers still flickered in the centre. Remnants of bone littered the ground. She scanned the area for the person she had been following days ago. Lexa was confident in the fact the stranger had found the valley as Lexa had. Lexa knew her nightblood protected her somehow as it protected her from certain death before, but what about this stranger?

She scanned the area, taking in as much as she could. Without her enhanced tactics in her head it was frustrating she had to rely on her own mind. She had grown used to the instant ideas and plans being handed to her with a blink of an eye. She missed the minds in her own. Even the commanders that were rather questionable in their methods. She missed the psychopaths just as much as the great leaders.

Titus had once told her that her mind was the sharpest he’d ever seen. That the details and the instincts she had were unparalleled to what he had seen before. So, Lexa tried to use this to work out what was a-miss here. The residents had obviously been killed. By the poison sickness? Or afterwards? Lexa stood in the centre of the small town observing the buildings around her. It had been 50 days. Most things looked untouched, but there would be an occasional trail of disturbed leaves or a moved curtain or a footprint too fresh to be fifty days old.

Then she saw it.

A stick from her throne.

You wouldn’t think Lexa could tell a stick apart from any other, but she had studied the throne many times over the years. The unique curves and engravings on each and every spear.

Someone had been to Polis and taken a piece of it and brought it all the way here. Why?

Lexa was confused and stood there overthinking what this meant when she felt a presence come up behind her. She knew this must have been the person she was following but wanted to play dumb to see what they would do. She felt the air shift around her as if something had been raised towards her head. Even without her enhanced mind, her combat training came into play instinctively. She ducked, spinning around on her ankle, and kicking her other leg out, swinging it under her assailant’s legs and causing them to fall to the floor. As she stood, she grabbed the piece of her throne quickly, ignoring the pain that rocked through her left arm as the muscles protested at the familiar use. She immediately took it in both hands, using the strength of her right arm to even it out and aimed it at the person’s neck.

It was then, as Lexa stared down at the woman before her that she felt like she was about to choke.

Clarke stared up at the ghost of the woman she loved and was sure she was dead.

When had she died? In the wave? In Polis? Or did she succeed in pulling that trigger in the sand after all?

But as Clarke stared at the just as shocked face of Lexa. She knew that in the afterlife Lexa wouldn’t be pinning her to the ground in self-defence. She’d be embracing her.

“Lexa?” she said, barely able to say the name out loud. Her voice broke. How?

“Clarke,” Lexa gasped, dropping the stick, and reaching forward to offer her hand to her. Clarke stared at it for a moment, still unsure of if this was even happening. She reached up and the second she felt her warm hand, those hands she had learnt very well very quickly on the last day they had together, she knew it was real. Clarke let out a sob as Lexa pulled her to her feet strongly. The pair fell into each other’s arms and Clarke cried into the shoulder of the woman she had been so scared to love.

“Clarke,” Lexa whispered, stroking Clarkes hair. Still in shock that Clarke was even here to cry as the other girl was.

“How? What? When?” Clarke pulled away, putting her hands on Lexa’s cheeks in front of her. Studying her face to ensure it was definitely her.

“I could say the same to you,” she smirked, that small smile Clarke had only seen a few times.

“I’m a natblida now.” She said and Lexa nodded, unsure of how in the world Clarke had done it but not surprised in the least that _her_ Clarke could have managed such a feat. “I watched you die. You died in my arms,” Clarke said, the sobs returning to her throat. Her eyes were scanning Lexa’s face.

“I didn’t die. I was barely alive. In a sleep for 43 days recovering. I was hidden in Trikru territory by my mother’s sister. I woke up to witness the death wave wipe out my home. I stayed until I had only two weeks of rations left, and I knew I would either die in the cave or try and find some more food. So, I made my way to Polis to find nothing, I thought I’d try Arkadia. On the way I saw the tracks of the rover. That machine you told me about.” Lexa explained with a little smirk at the mention of Clarkes stories. “I followed them until they disappeared in the storms. I continued making my way through clan villages I knew until eventually there was nothing. I knew Shallow Valley was near, from a visit when I was younger. It was my last hope for any kind of shelter or food.” Lexa finished all while Clarke was staring at her astonished she was even there.

“What happened Clarke? Where did the death wave come from? Did everyone die? Are we the only two left of humanity?” Lexa asked, fear in her voice that everything she had ever done was for nothing.

“I have a lot to catch you up on,” Clarke smirked. “But can I just do something first?” She asked. The pair hadn’t moved an inch apart. Lexa nodded, swallowing as she already knew what Clarke was about to do. The blonde moved forward, closing the gap, and kissing the commander with months of emotion and longing and love.

\-------------

The pair found a clean and empty house nearby to call home and over the next few days spent most of their time under furs on their new shared bed. Clarke tended to Lexa’s arm. Telling her the burns would heal but the strength may never return. Lexa could live with that; it wasn’t like she wasn’t able to use her arm at all. She’d just have to learn to adjust. The pair left their small home only when they needed to find some food. They found a field of berries and collected as many as they could, bringing them back to their new home.

Clarke had never seen Lexa smile as much as she had in the days they had been alone in that little town.

They had once said to each other that there may be a time where they owed nothing more to their people and they could experience a life together. Something they had somehow been gifted as the last two people on earth.

Clarke told Lexa that her people had been saved by Octavia and taken underground until the ground was survivable for others, and then explained how the tower had collapsed and she had no idea how they were ever going to get them back out. She explained about her friends in space and how she had spoken to them every day in hopes they could hear her. Lexa had listened supportively, with not much to say although she was very touched about the fact Clarke had protected the flame as much as she had after her ‘death’. She was also infinitely grateful to Octavia for saving her people, Octavia had honoured Lexa’s legacy. She wasn’t fond of Octavia when she knew her but was suddenly grateful Clarke had persuaded her not to assassinate her after the bombing of Tondc. She dreaded to think of how Luna would have let the human race die to the death wave.

Clarke and Lexa had been together for eight days when everything changed. Lexa was out hunting as Clarke sorted the berries from her earlier trip to the field. She held her radio, updating her friends on the exploring her and Lexa had been doing and how utterly happy she was, knowing they were safe and that she wasn’t alone anymore.

Lexa had become quite an expert at hunting already. She had been trained as a child how to use a bow and how to track people and had quickly adapted that to animals. There weren’t many, and Lexa knew they had to be careful on how many animals they killed for food if they were to survive here long term, but she did daily excursions to try and census the wildlife.

Lexa had found a field of wildflowers, beautiful and bright in the afternoon sun and smirked at herself as she picked a few stems, collecting them in her hands. Clarke would laugh as she handed her them but the smile on her face would be totally worth it. It was as she picked the fourth flower that she heard a gut-wrenching scream come from a distance.

Lexa knew Clarke didn’t scream at just anything. _Wanheda_ didn’t get scared.

The scream continued, followed by the sound of her name and Lexa dropped the flowers and took off running to the sound of Clarkes voice. Lexa focused on her instincts and senses. Following the sound of the scream as she ran --the fastest she had ever ran-- towards it.

She found Clarke on the ground, grasping at her leg. A bear trap covered in Clarkes dark blood lay open nearby.

“Clarke,” Lexa gasped, reaching to help the girl stand.

“There was a child.” Clarke groaned, leaning on Lexa for support.

“A child?” Lexa asked, a little confused as to what Clarke had said. She couldn’t have meant a human child, did she?

“I followed her out here, she thought I was a fleimkepa. When she realised I was a natblida, she ran off.”

“She attacked you?” Lexa asked, an anger burning in her stomach at the thought of someone hurting Clarke. Weren’t they passed all this? Didn’t they finally get to rest now?

“She was scared,” Clarke said as Lexa helped her return to their little home.

“What can I do for you?” Lexa asked as she helped her onto the table to view her leg properly. Lexa was no healer, but it looked bad. Really bad.

“That bag,” she said gasping and pointing to the table nearby.

Lexa brought it over and Clarke pulled out what she needed.

“Clarke what do you need me to do?” Lexa asked helplessly as Clarke prepared the stitch for her leg.

“Hold my leg still,” she gritted her teeth and thread the makeshift needle and wire into the nasty wound gushing in her calf. Clarke continued to scream as she stitched the wound. Lexa stood helplessly at her side holding Clarkes foot still. When it was over Lexa looked up to Clarkes face, pale with shock and blood loss before she passed out on the table before her.

Lexa moved, pulling Clarkes body to her own and attempted to lift her into her arms to take her to their bed so she could heal. She gasped as the pain in her left arm rocked through her body. She wasn’t strong enough to carry Clarke and Lexa hissed at herself. She was weak. No longer a commander, no longer even fit to be a commander. Sure, she could hunt, and she was sure she could fight but she wasn’t sure she could be who she once was. Commanders couldn’t have weaknesses. Clarke and Lexa didn’t talk about what would happen when or if they finally freed her people from the bunker, but commanders were accepted because of their strength, Lexa had no strength anymore. Octavia would have nothing to fear from the previous commander. Lexa felt she was no longer fit to rule.

She pulled up a chair next to Clarke and watched the rise and fall of her chest as she slowly slipped into sleep herself, abandoning all hope of making it to their soft bed tonight.

Clarke woke first, seeing Lexa asleep next to her she shifted, gasping at the pain in her leg but quickly removing the tourniquet to check the wound. The stitches had held, and she could already see the wound fusing. That was a good sign. It would be an ugly scar but at least she would be alive.

She quickly realised her bag from the table was gone and with a blur at the window she realised they were being watched. She went for her gun in its holster to realise that was gone too.

“Lexa,” she shouted, and Lexa shot up out of her chair like a lion about to attack its prey. Lexa bound for the door hoping to catch sight of the child, but she was long gone.

“I could track her, but I’d prefer to make sure you didn’t kill yourself when I was gone,” Lexa mused turning to look at Clarke who had gasped as she stood off the table.

“She’s only a child. She’ll come back.”

“I’ll make sure I’m awake when she does.” Lexa said making her way over to Clarke, using her own body as a support and helping her to the door of the room. “You need to rest,” she said grabbing the stick of her throne on the way out. “Here,” she said, and Clarke smiled.

“Good idea,” she said and took her weight onto the stick. “Perfect,” she added.

“That’s going to be okay right? I don’t pretend to be a _fisa_ but it looks… bad” Lexa said, needing to hear the words from Clarkes lips that she wasn’t going to leave her with this hellish child as the only surviving members of the human race on the ground.

“It will heal fine.” Clarke nodded and the pair made their way to their little home. “The child is stealing our food,” Clarke said noticing the berries on the table in the middle of the clearing were gone. “We won’t be able to survive long if she keeps stealing from us,” she sighed.

“I’ll catch her next time,” Lexa said confidently, Clarke looked at her with doubt. “Are you doubting me?” She asked her with a smirk.

“I’ve learnt not to doubt your skills, heda, I just doubt that the child is stupid enough to get caught that is all.”

“We shall see,” Lexa mused wistfully. Remembering the last time Clarke had doubted her skills in fighting and how she got to prove her otherwise.

“How’s your arm?” Clarke asked as she pulled off her blood-soaked clothes and pulled herself onto the bed. Lexa picked up the clothes, putting them on her arm to take outside to be washed.

“The burns are mostly gone,” Lexa said in truth.

“I can see that Lexa; I’m asking about the muscle. Have you regained any strength?” Clarke asked. Lexa shook her head slowly and headed for the door wanting to avoid the subject of her weakness. She couldn’t help it. It was ingrained in her.

“ _rest,_ _ai hodnes,_ ” Lexa said and froze at the words, her mother tongue slipped out without the slightest realisation in her mind.

“ _Hodnes_ … I haven’t heard that one before,” Clarke remarked. Lexa slowly pivoted to look at Clarke watching her with expectation. She would want a translation.

“It slipped out,” Lexa said suddenly feeling very small and not commander-like at all. Something she realised was very much the part of her Clarke brought out in her.

“And it means?” Clarke smirked; obviously aware the mighty commander had just called her some form of pet name.

“My love,” she admitted bashfully. Clarke’s smirk grew wider.

“ _Shof op_ ,” Lexa sighed playfully, turning to leave the girl on the bed.

“Lexa!” Clarke shouted after her. Realising that although they had spent the last eight days together, they had just fallen into where they had left off. No real words about how they felt or what was actually between them.

“I love you,” she told her. Lexa hadn’t turned back to look at her, but she smiled.

“ _Ai hod yu in,_ ” Lexa responded repeating the words back to her in Trigedasleng. She didn’t turn around. She just walked away like nothing had happened. Clarke fell back onto the bed with a stupid grin on her face as she stared up at the ceiling. Clarke could get used to this. It was only a week ago that she was about to commit suicide. She screamed to the gods or the universe or whatever was up there how she had lost everything. She had no reason to live anymore. What was the point of her? She had felt so helpless. So alone. And now? Now she wasn’t sure she could possibly be any happier.

She knew it may be just wishful thinking but one day her friends would return from space and they would open the bunker, and everyone would be able to live in the valley. Humanity could restart. Lexa and herself could be normal. Not heda or wanheda. Just two girls in the last surviving valley on earth. She could be with her mother again. Lexa could see her people again. Bellamy would sit with her and tell her stories from the ark. She could actually get to know Emori and Echo. She could be a doctor again. Train under her mother and learn to help others. The possibilities were endless and for the first time in months Clarke saw a possible future and she was sure Lexa would be at her side through it all. Octavia had won the last true conclave. Clarke worried perhaps some of the grounders would rebel against her leadership at the sight of their true heda alive and well, but Clarke knew she had to trust Lexa would handle the situation correctly. She had to trust Octavia would. Would they be able to work something out diplomatically? Or would they fall to grounder tradition and fight for the role of commander? Clarke pushed the sickness she felt at the thought down as far as she could. She knew there was no point in worrying about any of it yet. They were years away from Octavia ever stepping foot out of that bunker.

\-------------

As it turned out Clarke had nothing to worry about. As the days passed and she began to heal, Lexa found the child again at the lake. Eventually gaining her trust enough to bring her back. It took weeks but the child, who both Lexa and Clarke affectionately called _yongon_ , eventually told them her name and spoke for the first time.

Clarke taught her to draw. Lexa taught her to fight. Madi taught them both to fish.

Clarke would tell her stories. Lexa would teach her meditation and how to clear her mind. Madi taught them unconditional love.

They had been on the ground and a mini family for six years now. Lexa and Clarke eventually had the conversation about what would happen when they finally opened the bunker and Lexa had promised, for the sake of their child that she would not retake the helm of heda. Although she could fight now, she never fully regained the full strength of her arm. She knew her people would see this as a weakness, although Clarke laughed at how little weakness it was when Lexa could still wipe the floor with probably everyone in the bunker. Lexa admitted how she enjoyed their new life and as long as Octavia was happy with being heda, Lexa would not challenge her. She would endorse her so that Clarke and Madi wouldn’t be worrying for her life.

Lexa had changed. She had grown used to the simple life. Her little family. This new home. She had been raised and taught to be heda. It was all she had ever known before now. And she was okay with that. Okay with the thought of dying one day and having her spirit pass to the next. But now? Now she had experienced love. Real love. A life. And she wouldn’t give it up for anything. Not power, not even the world. Clarke and Madi were all that mattered to her now. She would always feel responsible for her people, but they had a leader now. They didn’t need her anymore. But Clarke and Madi did.

Clarke had felt relief hearing Lexa’s changed view on death. She often teased her about how blasé she used to be about dying when they first met. Madi would smile at watching the pair bicker and tease. Growing up she saw love in its purest form and was so grateful she wasn’t alone anymore.

“Madi asked me about her hair again this morning,” Clarke said, preparing the supper as Lexa sharpened the blades of their weapons in the corner of the kitchen.

“And?” Lexa smirked, knowing that the child they shared was often relentless when it came to what she wanted. She had been begging for months now to dye her hair as Clarke had.

“I finally agreed,” Clarke continued.

“Oh good. So, I can stop being the bad guy at last,” Lexa gasped in delight. “Co-parenting is harder than it seems,” she added, and Clarke let out a small chuckle.

“I think we’ve gotten pretty good at it over the years,” Clarke mused as she walked over to collect a freshly sharpened knife from Lexa’s table. The pair continued to chat about their parenting as they prepared for dinner.

That night as the three of them lay beneath the stars, Madi enthused about her love for Octavia and the stories Clarke and Lexa had told her over the years. All of them staring at the stars, wondering where the space station Clarkes friends were on was in the sky. Hoping one day they’d return to earth and Madi would get to meet her idols and they could share this home they made together.

\-------------

Clarke had been out with Madi when the drop ship landed. Racing back, Clarke had hoped Lexa was home, ready to warn her they had visitors. Madi had argued but eventually agreed to hide in her secret spot and Clarke knew she’d be safe and out of the way. Lexa wasn’t home. That was a huge problem. She wouldn’t be on guard and Clarke feared the prisoners would take her by surprise. It had been a long time Lexa had to use her instincts to protect herself from people.

Clarke watched as the prisoners exited the ship with her scope. Fearing for Lexa’s location but knowing she could keep an eye on the direction the prisoners went.

After surveying the visitors Clarke knew she had to regroup and get the weapons. There was a gun shot and Clarkes stomach dropped. Who had they found? Madi or Lexa? Clarke grabbed her gun from the cave and ran towards the sound, unsure who she hoped she’d find. Upon entering the clearing, she saw Madi on the floor. Her face was full of fear as she looked at the strange man above her, pointing a gun at her leg. A second man was watching from a distance. Clarke aimed and immediately took out the one holding a gun to Madi’s leg. She heard the sound of an arrow flying through the sky as she saw Lexa from the trees. She was aiming for the second guys heart but missed it by a few inches. It landed in his shoulder as he moved at the last second. Relief flooded through Clarke at the sight of Lexa and Madi safe. Madi shot the first prisoner as he jumped Clarke from behind. She stood there shocked at her first kill. Clarke immediately ran to comfort her. Taking the gun and telling her it was okay. She rounded then onto the second guy still gasping at his shoulder. Lexa walked over, her next arrow aimed at him, daring him to try and stand up. Clarke held out the gun, pointing it at him on the floor.

“Wait! He tried to help me; I think he might be a good guy,” Madi urged both of her protectors. Clarke took one look at Lexa across the clearing. Both agreeing wordlessly with a nod.

“There are no good guys,” Clarke said as she pulled the trigger on the stranger and shot him dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fisa = healer
> 
> Rest, ai hodnes = Rest, my love
> 
> Shof op = Shut up
> 
> ai hod yu in = I love you
> 
> Yongon = child (possessive)


	3. 5x03

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Eligius prisoners have taken the village. Lexa and Clarke have saved Madi and are heading to the north cave to regroup.  
> Spacekru hijack the Eligius ship as normal in 5x03.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no Madi/Clarke in 5x02, its all about the bunker so i'm skipping that one.  
> Thank you for all the support on this story <3

\----------

  
“Where are we going?” Madi asked as she watched Clarke and Lexa walking in front of her. They seemed to know exactly what they were doing without uttering a single word. It confused Madi.

Lexa and Clarke almost seemed to be speaking telepathically. Whether it was the years together or their experiences, there was one thing they both knew, and it didn’t need to be said between them.

Protect Madi.

That was their only priority.

Who ever these people were, they didn’t matter. All that mattered was Madi and their home.

It was like the years hadn’t passed. They slipped into _Heda_ and _Wanheda_ quicker than putting on a mask.

Madi was nearly running to keep up with her protectors. She was looking between them constantly, trying to understand what they were thinking. Their faces were stoic, stubborn, unnerving. Madi had never seen them both so serious before. She missed them smiling at each other. She missed them smiling at _her_. Missed their laughs.

Madi realised they were heading towards their cave of weapons. Madi knew Clarke and Lexa kept them out of the way to keep them away from Madi but both had taught her over the years how to use nearly all of them. Her favourites were the guns, but she enjoyed sword fighting with Lexa too.

It amused her the most watching Lexa teach Clarke how to fight with weapons. Clarke was definitely better at the guns.

There was a shout from the east and all three girls turned to face the direction of the cry simultaneously.

“The traps,” Lexa murmured, and the pair took off running. Madi followed and they took cover behind a cliff face to see how many had accidentally walked into their hunting traps.

It was just one.

“Clarke,” Lexa hissed as Clarke lifted to aim her gun at him. “We wait, hide here. See how many come to their rescue. This is a perfect place to see what they do, see where their loyalties lie and maybe we can take some of them out.” Lexa explained quickly. Clarke nodded, grabbing Madi’s hand and pulling her behind a nearby rock.

“Okay,” Clarke agreed, and they waited. Lexa noticed the expression on Madi’s face. She seemed distraught hearing the man crying out in pain. Lexa thought for a second about how that sound had been part of her life since childhood. The sound of pain, it didn’t spark any emotion in her anymore. Madi had been so sheltered. In another life, Madi would have grown up as Lexa had. She would have been trained and conditioned to be commander. Madi should have experienced everything Lexa did as a child. And yet as Lexa stared at her sweet face, the girl she had helped raise with Clarke. She felt pure and utter relief that Madi hadn’t seen the same as Lexa. She hoped she never would.

Lexa leant against the rock hidden from view. Trusting Clarke to watch through the scope.

Madi had questions. This was entirely new territory to her. She had heard the stories but not experienced human interaction or fear like this. Clarke and Lexa had slipped into their former personas. Something Madi had never seen. They were both cold and calculating, formulating plans in their head. Madi watched them, not sure if she was more scared of the prisoners or the way it made her guardians look. This was _heda_ and _wanheda_. Not Lexa and Clarke. Something Madi would quickly learn the difference between.

Madi protested to Clarke, asking why they were leaving him suffering. If they were going to kill him but Clarke kept insisting not yet. At the sight of the prisoners rushing to their friend’s aid, both Clarke and Lexa opened up. Clarke put a bullet through one head and Lexa, an arrow into the heart of another. The prisoners immediately fell defensively. Clarke pulled Madi down and Lexa hid as they waited to see what would happen next.

It was moments before a man, with a very large gun, aimed at them behind the ridge. He fired an unknown weapon right at them.

Lexa leapt away as Clarke jumped to shield Madi on the floor. Their ears began ringing. What ever that weapon was, theirs were no match for it.

“Run!” Lexa called and both Clarke and Madi stood, heading to the tree line.

The three of them took off into the woods.

“You’re hurt,” Lexa said seeing how Clarke limped as they ran. Madi held Clarke's hand, pulling her through the trees.

“We need to hide Madi,” Clarke pivoted on Lexa, ignoring the statement. “I’ll lead them away,” Clarke said. “You stay and protect her,” she said.

“Clarke…” Lexa protested.

“There isn’t time!” Clarke almost yelled back. “Protect our daughter,” she insisted, and Lexa knew better than to argue with Clarke. Her eyes fell to Clarke’s wound. Lexa knew she was sacrificing herself as she was, now, the weaker of the two. Lexa would stay with Madi to keep her safe.

Clarke put Madi under the ground and Lexa sat on the edge of the hole staring up at Clarke beside her.

Lexa wanted to say so many things, she wanted to discuss their options and talk it through together but Clarke was right. There was no time and this was the best option in their current situation.

“I love you,” Clarke said looking at Madi before turning back to Lexa. The statement was for both of them. She leant down, gasping at the pain in her side but giving Lexa a quick kiss anyway. As Lexa dropped down into the space with Madi, and Clarke covered them both with the surrounding ferns. She handed Lexa the gun and she turned and took off running.

Lexa looked down to Madi and handed her the weapon. She held the bow tightly in her grasp. It didn't make sense for her to have both weapons. Madi could handle herself well. It would also make Lexa feel better knowing Madi had something to protect herself with.

Tears were filling Madi’s eyes now, so Lexa pulled her into her side as the pair leant against the ground. Lexa watched the shadows of the men run past them and after Clarke. Lexa leant, kissing Madi’s temple in comfort as she clung to her side.

When she was sure they were clear, Lexa moved. She climbed out of the hole and held her hand out for Madi.

“She’ll be okay. She’s _wanheda_ remember?” Lexa said, taking Madi’s hand and leading her towards the cave they had weapons in.

“She’s good at talking,” Madi agreed, remembering the stories. Lexa was amused that Madi didn’t equate _wanheda_ to the hundreds of people Clarke had killed but rather that she was a good negotiator for her people.

“She’s very good at talking,” Lexa smiled in agreement as they reached the cave. Lexa discarded her bow and immediately went for her blades; sheathing them onto her back. She reached for a knife, tucking it into her boot and a handgun for her waist. Lexa didn’t use guns. She much preferred the more traditional style of fighting, but she knew with these kinds of people it might be necessary. She was okay with shooting. She knew how to aim and pull a trigger. But she much preferred her bow. Clarke was the gunslinger. Madi enjoyed _all_ kinds of weapons. This would just be the first time she would be using them on real people instead of tree stumps.

They ran from the cave and headed towards the lake, aiming to take a wide berth around the village and survey where they were holding Clarke.

“Lexa!” Madi screamed seeing figures move in the woods. Lexa yanked Madi’s hand, changing their direction north to try and get away from the people chasing them. They hid behind some rocks, waiting for them to catch up so they’d follow into their summer hunting grounds and into the traps. The bear traps were primed and ready.

The prisoners paused, their radio undecipherable to Lexa and Madi so far away but they were clearly being informed to stop. Lexa sighed in relief as the men took off running back to their camp. Lexa knew Clarke must have warned them of the traps for bargaining. She was alive.

Lexa turned to Madi whose eyes were dancing across Lexa’s face. Trying to comprehend the emotion she was seeing. Lexa softened, pulling Madi close to her into a hug.

“Everything’s okay, _yongon,_ ” she whispered. “Clarke is still alive,” she added and stood, taking her hand, and leading her back into the trees.

It was hours later, unable to make it into the village, Lexa and Madi settled for surveillance. Lexa was hoping Clarke could continue to talk her way out of this. Lexa felt a sickening feeling in her stomach she hadn’t felt since Costia went missing. So many thoughts were running through her head. This wasn't a time to fight, that much was clear. There were too many of them.

For the first time in 6 years, Lexa missed her armies. She missed her people, missed her ambassadors and advisors. She missed the flame.

“Lexa look!” Madi said pointing to the sky as a large sound broke through the atmosphere. A rocket was falling from above. The prisoners noticed too and immediately started running towards the landing zone.

“Bellamy,” Lexa said grabbing Madi’s hand and taking off in the direction of where they had the rover stored.

“They finally came home!” Madi said excited to meet the people she’d heard so much about. They jumped into the rover. Lexa span it around, heading straight for the landing sight, knowing they’d get there before the prisoners. They climbed out and hid in the trees. Lexa motioned for Madi to get her gun ready as they waited to see what the prisoners would do with Bellamy and the others.

“Congratulations one of you gets to live,” the prisoner said as he motioned to execute the others.

Lexa immediately threw a spear, pulling out her blade and swinging it through another’s abdomen. Madi pulled out her gun, taking out the last one in a perfectly aimed head shot. It all happened in the space of a few seconds. Bellamy and the others barely had time to blink.

They walked into the clearing to see Bellamy, Echo, Harper, Emori and Monty staring at them.

“Bellamy,” Madi said with a smile.

“ _Heda_?” Echo said at the sight of Lexa.

“Clarke knew you would come,” Madi added. Bellamy was shocked to hear Clarke was alive. As was everyone else. Echo still hadn’t stopped staring at the commander.

"Clarke's alive?" 

“We’ll explain on the way,” Lexa said heading towards the trees. Madi reached for Bellamy’s hand and dragged him after her. The others followed; shocked. They reached the rover and they all piled in. Lexa swung it around, heading towards their home where Clarke was being held.

“ _Heda_ , how are you still alive? We thought you died.” Echo pressed. She wasn't loyal to the commander in front of her. In fact, she was enraged when she found out she had killed her Queen in the single combat against Roan, but times had changed. Echo had changed. Six years was a long time. She needed to know what happened, that her king hadn’t died for nothing. If Lexa had been alive that whole time, why didn’t she come and unite the clans back together, lead them into the bunker as Octavia had?

“I barely survived the gunshot wound to my chest. I was taken, hidden, and cared for in Trikru land. I was in --what Clarke calls-- a coma for forty days. I woke up right as the death wave hit. Clarke survived in Becca’s lab. Her nightblood saved her from the radiation just as it saved me. Madi was here, alone after her family died to the radiation. Clarke and I travelled simultaneously, miles apart until we both found the valley. Few days later we found Madi. The three of us have been living here for six years. The bunker is trapped under the rubble of Polis tower and Octavia and my people are still under ground. These people landed, attacked our home and we tried to protect it. Clarke handed herself in so Madi and I could get somewhere safe. They have her captive.” Lexa explained. Echo needed more; they all did but they also understood from the urgency of Lexa’s voice that they didn’t have time to catch up right now. They needed to save Clarke.

“I have a plan to deal with them,” Bellamy said. “We can get her and our people back.” Lexa looked at him sceptically but allowed him to explain his plan.

Lexa didn’t have a better one, she had no flame and no army. She hated it. She wanted it back. She needed it back so she could protect Clarke and Madi. The conversations Clarke and Lexa had over the years were all about when the bunker was open. Neither of them expected this turn of events, that they would be at war with foreign prisoners and need to defend everything they had.

Lexa hoped Clarke wouldn't be mad at her change of thoughts. Everything depended on what would come out when they opened that bunker. She had to be smart. She knew Clarke trusted Bellamy so she had to believe it would work. The seven of them had no chance against that many prisoners without using the leverage Bellamy had on their ship in space. If Bellamy and Clarke could talk their way into getting the bunker open, Lexa could face Octavia and maybe work something out. For the sake of the human race; for _their_ people.

The sight of Clarke being held to the floor triggered Lexa, she grabbed for the gun instantly, but Bellamy stopped her.

“Take the rover back to the cave, that’s the plan. I won’t let anything happen to Clarke. I promise.” Bellamy instructed her. Lexa stared at him for a moment. Really stared. For some reason, she believed him. She nodded and he stood out of the rover, walking over to the woman holding Clarke prisoner. Lexa watched until he finally raised his arm for her to retreat.

She hated it. The feeling in her gut to protect Clarke was aching from the pain of losing Costia, but she knew she had to protect Madi. She couldn’t go in weapons blazing. She had to trust Bellamy. She had to. She pulled the truck into reverse looking back at Madi who was watching with wide eyes.

She’d protect her. That was her job. She had to trust Clarke. She had to trust Bellamy. All that mattered at that moment, was Madi.


	4. 5x04

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy reunite and open the bunker. Lexa is conflicted over duty and love.

Clarke lay on the cold bench. Her neck was throbbing from the wounds of the shock collar. All Clarke could do was stare at the wall and think about where Lexa and Madi were right now. They would be hiding, Clarke was sure. She had to be.

The door swung open and she turned slowly, pain rocking through her body to see who was coming to torture her now. The sight of Bellamy was indescribable. She still couldn’t believe he was here. The relief came over her like a cold bucket of water. He was here again, by her side. She felt lighter than ever before. She moved as he came over towards her and the pair hugged. Clarke clung to her best friend, burying her face into his shoulder. His strong arms wrapped around her and Bellamy held onto her tightly. Still not believing she was alive.

“You’re really here,” she said in relief as they pulled away. The pair looked at each other and as the joy started to sink away, she had to ask. “Madi? Lexa?” she said searching his face.

“They’re safe. They’re in the woods with the others. Diyoza won’t look for them as long as we’re in control,” Bellamy explained. Clarke relaxed in relief.

The pair continued to bask in each other’s presence, talking about home and their families.

“Why’d they release me?” Clarke asked after a moment.

“We made a deal, she agreed to open the bunker,” Bellamy explained, and Clarke was crying now. She would get to see her mom. She smiled at him and he smiled back. They had both missed each other so much.

“I need you to promise me something,” she said as they stood to leave.

“Anything,” Bellamy said without hesitation, wrapping his arm around Clarke to hold her up.

“When we see them. When you see Octavia. Don’t mention Lexa or Madi. Not yet.” She said and Bellamy frowned.

“Octavia wouldn’t-“ Bellamy began but Clarke cut him off.

“Promise me. They don’t need to know about them, not yet.” She said staring up at him. Bellamy had wanted to see Clarke for so many years, had grieved her, and missed her. He couldn’t not agree with her now.

“I promise.”

\------------------

They were using the time to rest. There had been no changes since leaving Bellamy and Lexa knew, the better rested they were, the better chance they had. They took turns being on watch to make sure no one came to kill them in their sleep. Although Lexa was quite sure they wouldn’t be found here in the cave her and Madi had chosen. It was close enough to see if things changed in the village but secluded enough for them to not know they were there.

“So heda,” Echo said in the dark of the cave. Lexa sighed as she rolled over to the Azgeda spy who was on watch.

“What Echo?” she asked. She wasn’t a great fan of Echo. Clarke had told her what happened after her ‘death’. She had heard how Azgeda had come in to take her throne. How Echo had aided in the ill-treatment of the thirteenth clan. But Lexa tried to acknowledge she was different now. Six years was a long time. Lexa was different now too. Echo had lived with Skaikru on the ring for six years. She saw the way she spoke and acted around Monty and Harper. She wasn’t the same spy anymore; she just didn’t know what exactly Echo was at the moment. Skaikru or Azgeda? Both?

“Will you dethrone Octavia?” Echo asked curiously.

“I don’t plan to _dethrone_ anyone,” she mused sitting up, clearly Echo wanted answers and wouldn’t let Lexa sleep.

“You’re _heda,_ ” she said shocked.

“I’m just Lexa now,” she said with a sigh.

“And that’s enough for you?” she asked her with a raised eyebrow. Lexa tuned to look at Madi fast asleep next to her.

“I promised Clarke and Madi I wouldn’t put myself back into that position. A position where I’m more likely to die than to live by their sides,” she answered unsure why she was saying this to Echo. A girl who showed no care for her or the people that mattered to her, no trust in the past. But she supposed she may as well get used to saying it out loud. The second her people see her alive they’d want an explanation. She just hoped she could talk to Clarke first. She felt so conflicted over it all. Wouldn’t it be safer for Clarke and Madi if Lexa _was_ back in charge?

“But what do _you_ want?” Echo asked her.

“I want everyone safe. I want the human race to live peacefully in that valley. Working together under a coalition to keep us all equally alive,” Lexa said truthfully, it was a whimsical wish, but It didn’t change the fact it’s what Lexa wanted. Echo smiled slightly.

“You have the power to do that. As you once did.”

“I don’t have the flame anymore. I am no longer fit to be a commander. Octavia is their commander now. Not I,” Lexa said confident in the mask she wore. She wanted to be commander; it was in her blood. But it wasn’t just about herself anymore. It was about Madi and Clarke. She couldn’t make these decisions without them.

“I guess we’ll see what our people think about that, I’ll let you sleep,” Echo said turning to stand and patrol the outside of the cave. Lexa turned, curling back down to hug Madi at her side. She stroked her hair, thinking about what Echo said and how her people would react. Would they want her back? Octavia wasn’t a nightblood. She didn’t have the flame, even if she had managed to successfully keep them in line. Would the faithful beg for Lexa to return? Beg her to challenge Octavia for her rightful place on that throne? Lexa knew it was her duty to lead those people. Just because she had nearly died, twice, doesn’t mean she was free of that duty. Being commander was for life. Was she obligated to continue that if her people wanted her to? Did her own feelings or the feelings of Clarke matter when it came to the bigger picture?

Lexa wanted to protect them. She did. She hadn’t changed completely as a person. She wished her legacy would still be peace, but she was fighting the force within her telling her to screw everyone else and only protect the child in her arms.

This was why commanders didn’t have children. This was why love was weakness. Why it was frowned upon for a commander to have another half. Because Lexa was willing to put every single person in that bunker in firing range if it meant Madi and Clarke were safe.

\------------------

The bunker was open. She had hugged her mom. She had seen the blood shed and the face of ‘blodreina’.

Clarke was waiting by her mother and Kane as the streets of Polis filled with people from the bunker. She was somewhat aware of their conversation, but her mind was elsewhere. She was overthinking everything that had just happened. What she had seen in that bunker. Her mom was safe, that much gave her relief, but at what cost?

She ached for Lexa. To talk to her, to hear her wise words and for her to tell her what to do.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said, distracting her from her thoughts and taking her hand. He pulled her into one of the nearby buildings. There were people everywhere. _Wonkru_. That’s what Octavia had called them. These were Lexa’s people and yet Clarke barely recognised anything about them.

“We can end this Clarke, with one word. All we need to do is tell them that-“ Bellamy began.

“Shh,” she responded quickly. A guard was patrolling the outside of the building. Clarke knew exactly what Bellamy was going to say. He wanted to mention Lexa was still alive. He wanted to dethrone his sister already. He recognised the panic on Clarkes face at the sight of the bunker just as she had on his. Octavia was not the same Octavia they knew. They weren’t sure who she was anymore.

“No. These aren’t her people anymore. This is Wonkru. They follow your sister like a … well I don’t really have any words for what your sister has done to these people. This is something new. I will not hand you know who over to them to be their leader before she can decide for herself,” Clarke insisted. She had to admit. She might beg Lexa to do it. To challenge Octavia so that they would go back to the Wonkru from before, but she knew it wasn’t her decision to make. She also had so much more to think about now. She didn’t want Lexas life at risk again. But then seeing Octavia, would she let Lexa live knowing there is even a slightest chance people would follow her over Octavia? She needed to talk to Lexa about this, not Bellamy.

Bellamy clearly didn’t agree but Clarke had to trust he would remain quiet until the time was right.

The bunker was open. Her mom was safe. She had to believe things would be okay.

She saw her mom and Kane at a distance talking in hushed voices. She left Bellamy and rushed over to them. Where were they going to go?

Clarke hated the thought of Abby and Kane out there on their own. Was Octavia really past reason? Abby and Kane were clearly scared of Octavia. Insistent she would take Kane’s life so Clarke said the only thing she knew would calm them.

“I need to tell you something but you both have to swear you won’t tell a soul, not yet.” She insisted. The pair frowned at Clarke wondering what she could possibly know that would help them in this situation.

“We swear,” Abby said but Clarke looked to Kane. She trusted her mom with this information, she knew her mom knew how much she loved Lexa. But she needed to hear the words from Kane.

“I swear,” Kane said carefully. Kane was trustworthy and was one of the only ones that stood by Clarke’s decisions to stay in Polis with Lexa. He wanted the coalition to work just as much as Clarke had.

“Lexa is alive. She survived with me above ground.” She uttered the words, looking around to ensure no one was in sight.

“She’s what?” Abby asked although she wasn’t quite sure if her daughter had gone mad over the 6 years alone or if she was answering all their prayers.

“She’s alive and when she sees what Octavia has done to her people, she’s bound to want to do something about it,” Clarke said with a small chuckle at the end. She knew Lexa too well. Their conversations over the years always assumed that Octavia had continued Lexa’s legacy, that she was a good leader to her people. Lexa didn’t want the crown if Octavia was ruling well and just. But Clarke wasn’t sure what was going on here, the uncertainty scared her and clearly her mom and Kane were in danger because of it. Lexa could help them. They needed to make a plan. One that would cause the least disruption in the hand over for power.

“You just need to stay hidden and alive long enough for us to get Lexa here-“ she began but the sound of the sonic weapon stopped the conversation.

“Stay here,” Clarke said and rushed off to see why the prisoners were suddenly blowing things up.

They were on guard and Diyoza was threatening them all with the weapon.

“Hey what are you doing? One call from me—” Bellamy rushed to intercept.

“Make your call,” Diyoza insisted. When Raven didn’t respond Diyoza smirked.

Clarke came rushing in right as Diyoza told the prisoners to hold fire.

“Where is your mother?” She asked her and Clarke frowned. Why did they need a doctor?

“She’s _our_ doctor,” Octavia insisted realising a fraction slower than Clarke what was going on.

“I’m right here. Don’t shoot,” Abby said and Clarke span to face her. No. no. no. The panic rose in Clarke’s stomach. “We’ll come without a fight,” Abby added.

“I bet you will,” Octavia glared. Clarke didn’t know how to react as she watched the prisoners escort her mother and Kane away to the ship.

As Diyoza laid out the new terms Clarke watched Octavia. Unsure how ‘blodreina’ was going to take this one. _What would Lexa do right now?_ Clarke wondered.

As the prisoners began to retreat, Clarke saw Octavia smirk and chaos ensued. One of the prisoners pulled the trigger of his weapon, blasting one of Octavia’s guards into red mist in front of them. The force knocked those around the impact backwards. Including Octavia.

Clarke rushed to the wounded near her and helped them to their feet.

“Blodreina, what do we do now?” Miller asked. Octavia held onto Indra as her body recovered from the impact.

“We go to war,” she declared, and Clarke took one look at Bellamy.

Well shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more Lexa and the others in the woods next chapter.


	5. 5x05

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Echo make a plan. Madi returns to Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t hate me for this one. Its going to make sense I promise. Remember, Lexa doesn’t know how bad it is yet. She probably wouldn’t have made this decision if she knew how needed she was with Wonkru. 
> 
> This was a really long chapter, I had to cut a lot of what actually happened in the episode out.  
> I had a really busy week last week sorry for the delay in this chapter but i plan to update twice a week in future.

Lexa couldn’t sleep anymore so she began pacing. This was a habit she had picked up from Clarke over the years. She was normally so calm and collected but she realised she had picked up on quite a few of Clarkes mannerisms over the years. Lexa’s hands were clasped behind her on her lower back and shoulders pushed back as she held her head high. She focused on the cave walls either side of her as she walked.

The helpless feeling was eating away at her gut. She watched Madi sleep not far from her. Monty and Harper were curled up together. Emori was awake now too, sitting in the corner fiddling with her jacket sleeve.

Echo was watching Lexa. Echo had done a lot of thinking over the last day. She knew how selfish she was being, but she worried how Octavia would react to her relationship with Bellamy. Lexa was the lesser of two evils in her mind. Lexa wasn’t the one that banished her. She would fight by Lexa’s side, endorse her leadership so that she had a chance to get through this alive. She knew Bellamy had promised it would be okay, but she also knew they didn’t know what was coming out of that bunker. Bellamy hadn’t discussed it with her, but Echo knew, Octavia living with that many grounders, with that many conflicting cultures for six years? She wasn’t going to be the same and Echo worried for her own life. With Lexa as commander, Echo knew Lexa saw her no more than an annoyance. Not someone who had stabbed and pushed her off a cliff. She also secretly admired this new commander. They had quite a few things in common after all. Trained assassins; loyal to their people; fell in love with someone from the sky.

“I’m going to go for a walk.” Lexa said heading for the cave exit. She needed to breathe. To see the woods she was so familiar with. Survey the area. She needed to do _something_.

“I’ll come with you,” Echo said immediately and stood, following Lexa out the cave. Lexa looked back at Emori who immediately stood to attention and replaced Echo at the entrance to the cave.

“We’ve already scouted the village. Why do you need to come with me again?” Lexa asked her. The first thing Echo and Lexa had done after dropping off Bellamy was scout. They watched and waited but it seemed Bellamy’s plan had worked. None of the prisoners left the village to search for them. they didn’t even make an effort to track their movements. After an hour or so, Lexa had felt it was safe enough to get some rest and regroup.

“ _Heda!_ ” Echo hissed before she could reply to Lexa’s question. The sight of the drop ship entering the atmosphere pulled Lexa and Echo behind a tree, they watched to see who would come from it.

“That’s Abby and Kane,” Lexa murmured at the sight of Clarke’s mom exiting the ship. Next was Raven and Murphy. They were being manhandled. They clearly weren’t willing participants in their capture. “Bellamy’s plan failed.” Lexa murmured as Echo moved to get closer. “Echo,” Lexa hissed grabbing the girl’s wrist.

“They have Raven and Murphy,” she said panicking. Lexa frowned at the emotion on the Azgeda spy’s face. This wasn’t how Echo was trained. Lexa knew that much.

“You can’t go charging in there. We need a plan. We need help. If Abby and Kane are there, that means they got the bunker open. Clarke and Bellamy will be on their way with our people.” Lexa reasoned. Echo was still emotional. Raven and Murphy had become her family.

“Come on,” Lexa hissed and dragged Echo back towards the cave.

“Heda,” she begged, tugging back her arm.

“Stop calling me that,” Lexa sighed but turned to face the Azgeda warrior.

“Just because you don’t wear the symbol or carry the armour or have the flame. You’ll still be commander. Not just to me, to everyone that just came out of that bunker too,” Echo said. The girl stood before Echo was softer in her expression, her hair less braided, her clothes less ready for war but she was still regal. She still stood and spoke as the commander. Even if Lexa didn’t realise it herself.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. Right now, I’m more worried about the four prisoners they just took into that village. They took Abby from the bunker. Which means they need a doctor for something.” Lexa said heading towards the cave again.

“ _Sure_ , you’re not commander anymore,” Echo teased as she caught up with Lexa and they ducked back into the cave.

“We have a problem,” Lexa announced to the cave. Emori turned to look at Lexa and Echo. Monty and Harper moved and Madi woke to stare at her.

“They have Raven and Murphy. They also have Abby and Kane from the bunker.” She announced.

“We need to keep watch, create a system so that if they manage to escape, we’ll be there to help them,” Emori said suddenly.

“Escape? You think they’ll get out of a village with hundreds of prisoners?” Lexa asked.

“It’s Raven and Murphy. Yes, I do,” Emori said and Echo grinned.

“She’s got a point,” Echo agreed.

“Ok, Echo. How do we go about this?” Lexa asked turning to the spy.

“You’re asking me?” she asked in awe.

“You’re the spy. I can strategize and lead, but I didn’t experience the training you did. What do you suggest?” She asked her. Echo was still in awe that the commander was asking her advice. Because she _was_ the commander. She always would be. She was commanding them now and they were following her without a second thought. This was good news for Echo.

“Okay, well this is how I’d do it….” Echo began and they all came together to listen to the new plan.

\-------------------

“It’s a good plan,” Lexa said after a while. Echo almost smiled but knew better. “But I have a better one.”

Everyone turned to look at her and Madi seemed to know what Lexa was saying without a single word. Panic rose in her gut.

“Do you swear your service to me? As your commander?” Lexa said turning to Echo.

“I do heda,” Echo said strongly with a nod of her head.

“Your job is to protect Madi. With your life if necessary, will you do that?” She asked. Lexa didn’t completely trust Echo, but she trusted her ideals and she knew she understood what _family_ was now. Echo was a follower, a spy, a subject. She needed someone to follow, someone to believe in. Lexa knew Echo would get Madi to Clarke, even if it was to save her own skin. After that, she knew Clarke would keep her safe.

“Why do I need Echo to protect me? Where will you be?” Madi asked before Echo could answer.

“Echo Kom Azgeda?” Lexa asked staring at Echo. The pair never broke eye contact.

“I’ll be her guard,” Echo agreed.

“With your life,” Lexa enforced. Threat coated every word. “Until she is in the arms of Clarke, then you are free of the vow.”

“I promise,” Echo nodded once, hearing her out. She could protect the child until then. After that, she’d have a playing card against Octavia. With Bellamy, Lexa and _wanheda_ on her side. Surely her life stood a chance.

“Lexa,” Madi’s voice broke. “Why wont you be here to protect me?” She asked again. Lexa had decided to take a page from her commander playbook. She was planning on using a trick she had once used on Skaikru so long ago.

“You will all follow Echo’s plan scouting the woods for any escapees. I will be in the town with Abby.” Lexa announced and they all erupted in protests.

“ _Shof op!_ ” She called instantly, raising her hand to silence them.

“I’m going to surrender to them. I’ll be playing the role of Abby’s apprentice from the ark who was left behind in space with the rest of you. I will get myself inside and find out what I can from both Abby and what I can gleam from the prisoners. In the meantime, if either Raven or Murphy escape; you’ll have information to pass onto Clarke and Bellamy. You will return to them and let Clarke know where I am and that her mother is safe. We don’t know what happened out there. We don’t know why Bellamy’s plan failed and we don’t know why they only took Abby and Kane and no one else from that bunker. We need more information before we proceed with any sort of war plans.” Lexa explained.

Spacekru all had the same thought watching the commander. Lexa was good at what she did. Her plan made sense and it was smart. They’d have a man on the inside and if she managed to get Murphy and Raven out, they could get to Clarke and Bellamy and work out the next step.

“Heda, it’s a brilliant plan but it should be done by someone else. Your people need you,” Echo said frowning.

“I’ve done this kind of thing before. I know Abby well, better than anyone else in this cave. How will you convince the prisoners that you are Abby’s apprentice?” She asked turning to Echo. Echo didn’t have an answer. The truth was Lexa didn’t know Abby personally, but she had heard many stories over the years from Clarke. She had come to both despise and admire Abby for the things she had done in the past but above all. She knew how much Clarke loved her.

“It’s Clarke’s mother. I can’t leave her. I can’t go back to Clarke and tell her I left her mother in the hands of our enemy. She would want me to protect her. She would want me to find out more about our enemy. This is how I do that.”

“She would want you to be commander.” Echo scoffed.

“Don’t pretend like you know Clarke better than I,” Lexa said, her voice rising in anger. “You do not know what Clarke would want. If you want me to be commander so bad, listen to me now. Follow your orders, protect my child, and deliver her to Clarke. I will do what I think is right for my family.” Lexa said stepping closer to Echo, Echo didn’t shrink in fear like her mind wanted her to. She stood her ground but gave a swift nod in obedience.

Lexa began to strip her weapons and untangling her hair. She knew she would have to look less intimidating if she were to get through the gates of the town.

“My people have a leader.” Lexa said continuing the train of thought for Echo. “They have Octavia. She will lead them through this as she did the last time the human race was threatened. I have faith my spirit chose wisely.” Lexa said although she was only saying words she wanted to believe.

“Your spirit didn’t choose her. And our people would rather you. You’re a natblida, you can retake the flame. You are our true leader. Not Octavia. We all know you would beat her ass in a conclave. You are the stronger of the two.” Echo said although her voice was less convicting more matter of fact.

“The last thing our people need right now is uncertainty. We’re at brink of a war. They are seeing sunlight for the first time in six years. They won’t be thinking straight, and I don’t imagine Octavia will be either. Clarke and Bellamy are with them. She doesn’t need me there too. I need to be here, learning about our enemy, keeping our only doctor safe. If it comes to it, I will take over from Octavia. But right now. Creating a coup is going to be the least helpful thing in this situation.”

“You deserve to lead. The fact you’ve just said that, your plan, your ideals, everything about you proves that you do,” Emori stood with Echo and Madi.

“And I will. Just not yet. I will protect all my people, and that includes Abby and Kane. They are without protection right now and I can’t go back to Clarke and tell her I left them here.” Lexa said turning to Madi again. “You will go to Clarke where you’ll be safe. You will get to meet Octavia,” She said with a small smile reserved only for Madi and Clarke. Madi’s face lit up with excitement of meeting Octavia.

When Lexa was ready to leave, she took Madi’s hand and lead her out of the cave. She pulled her over behind a tree out of ear shot of the others. They stayed behind out of respect, clearly seeing Lexa wanted to be alone with Madi for a moment.

“I don’t need Echo to protect me. I can fight. I can-“ Madi began.

“I know yongon. You don’t need protecting.” She said affectionately. “You are strong, you are the child of heda and wanheda. Nothing will stop you.”

She pulled Madi into her chest to hug her. Madi returned the hug wrapping her arms around her waist tightly.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too Madi. I’ll see you soon,” she said pulling away to smile at her. She leant forward and kissed her forehead.

“Follow your training. Be strong.” She said with fervour staring into her eyes. Madi nodded, a smile appearing on her face in belief of the words. She could do this.

Lexa stood straight again and took her hand taking her back to the others.

“The sooner I get in, the better. I’ll get a message out if I can. For now. Stay hidden, follow the plan.” She said looking at each of them. They nodded in response and Madi went to stand by Echo.

“May we meet again,” Lexa said, and they all uttered the phrase back to her and she disappeared from their sight.

Lexa ignored the tug at her heart strings as she created distance between herself and Madi.

This was the right thing. It was. She knew it was, but she also couldn’t help second guessing herself as the pain in her chest worsened. Madi would be fine. She was quite the mini assassin. She could protect herself. She had an Azgeda warrior as her guard. She was with some of the smartest people Clarke had met. Lexa had to have faith. This time, not in herself or the commanders in her head but in someone else. In Clarke and the people she trusted.

As she got closer to the town, the blaring music got louder and more irritating. Lexa was surprised how close she could get to the town before they noticed her. The woman that seemed to be in charge had just told them to turn the music over and to be ready for the army that was heading its way here right now.

This peaked Lexa’s interest, but she held it back, her arms were up. She knew this was an international signal for surrender, she hoped they would pause in killing her enough to hear her out.

The woman pulled a gun straight out of her belt and aimed it at Lexa’s head but paused.

“How can we help you?” Diyoza asked bluntly.

“I am here to surrender to you,” Lexa announced taking slow steps towards the woman. The prisoners around her were on guard, watching her closely. Although they didn’t see what a small woman clearly unarmed would be able to do to them.

“Surrender? That’s interesting. You can’t be with the army we just let free. You’re one of the hostiles from the woods.” Diyoza deduced, coming closer to Lexa. The gun was still aimed at her head.

“I saw you land with Abby and Kane and Raven and Murphy.” Lexa explained softly. “When I saw that Abby wasn’t tied up like the others, I figured you needed a doctor for something. You’re going to want my help.”

“Why would you be willing to help us when you know we have your friends from space tied up?” Diyoza asked sceptically.

“I am Abby’s apprentice. From before. I can help her.” Lexa avoided the question but Diyoza wasn’t having any of it. She cocked the gun.

“Abby,” Kane hissed looking out the window at what was going on in the yard. “It’s Lexa,” he said, and she came over to see what was happening.

“What is she doing?” Abby asked, panic rising in her voice. Kane noticed the attire and passiveness on Lexa’s face. He recognised it from the first time he ever met the commander. It was a play. A trick.

He moved for the door, but the guard stopped him.

“Please, let me explain to Diyoza who she is,” he asked.

“No,” the guard said without question. With the guard distracted Abby slipped past easily.

“I need her help,” she called to Diyoza who span around, now her gun was pointed at Abby’s head instead.

Lexa was close enough now that she could have put Diyoza on the ground and had the gun off her in a split second, but she had to play this smart. She couldn’t look like a warrior; she couldn’t look trained at all. She had to look vulnerable.

“She says she’s your apprentice,” Diyoza announced, there wasn’t much belief in her voice.

“She is. I haven’t seen her in 6 years. She wasn’t in the bunker with me.” Abby said softly. “She’s harmless but a very good aid. I can get my work done quicker if I have her with me.”

“Very well,” Diyoza said, she wasn’t quite sure why someone was willingly handing themselves over to capture but she decided to let it slide and see where it would go. She felt safe in the knowledge this girl couldn’t have been a spy for Octavia. There was no way that someone could have made it across the waste land that fast. This girl was small and unarmed. Diyoza hoped if she were on the doctor’s good side, maybe she’d help her with her pregnancy too.

“Vinson,” she called, and a prisoner stepped up from a chair nearby. “Come with me,” she called, and she motioned for Lexa to walk ahead of her and into the building Abby was just in. It was Lexa and Clarke’s home. Lexa didn’t miss the obviousness of that. Lexa deduced that Diyoza was playing a game.

As Diyoza introduced Vinson to Abby and Kane, Lexa stayed quiet. She stood submissively behind Abby taking in everything that was happening around her. She saw the prisoner pick up a small knife before the others did. She was inching towards him just in case he lunged for Abby, but he was stopped by the shock collar. Lexa bent and picked up the scalpel immediately. Standing back behind Abby.

“Keep your hands and feet away from his mouth and you should be fine,” Diyoza said as she walked out. Leaving the three of them with Vinson. Kane eyed Lexa immediately but she kept her head low, putting the scalpel on the tray of medical supplies.

“Take a seat Vinson,” Abby said and began preparing the machines Diyoza had provided her with to x-ray him. “I’ve got no clue what’s going on here, so we’ll start with a full x-ray,” she nodded her eyes locking with Lexa. She nodded and moved out of the way as if this was an exchange they had had many times before. When actually, she was completely clueless as to what Abby was going to do. Kane came over to her and sat next to her on the edge of Madi’s bed.

“It’s good to see you c-… heda,” he mumbled under his breath so the prisoner couldn’t hear. Lexa nodded softly; grateful he’d used the Trigedasleng word for commander instead of the English. Just in case.

“You too ambassador,” she whispered.

“What’s wrong with Abby?” Lexa asked, watching the pale sweating Abby scan the prisoner with shaking hands. This wasn’t the woman she had imagined as Clarke’s mom.

“it’s a long story.” He sighed sadly. The pair sat in silence until they felt it was safe enough to speak. The second the door closed behind Vinson. Lexa was shocked with the sudden contact she felt.

Abby was hugging her.

“Lexa,” Abby breathed her name. Her voice was a mixture between a plea and an exclamation of relief. Lexa stood still, unsure of the new familiarity.

“Hello Abby,” she responded. “I didn’t know you were this fond of me when we last saw each other,” she said amused as Abby pulled away. Abby bowed her head, suddenly remembering who this woman was. It was so easy to see the woman her daughter loved rather than the commander.

“I’m sorry commander, forgive me. Clarke told me you were alive, but I wasn’t quite sure if my daughter had gone mad in the six years of solitude or if she was telling the truth.”

Lexa smiled softly at the older woman before her.

“I am glad you got to see Clarke. She’s missed you greatly,” she said taking Abby’s hand in her own. “And please don’t call me commander. I’m just Lexa now.” She said and Abby’s head shot up at these words.

“No, you are the commander. You need to take over. You need to lead Wonkru. To save them all from Octavia.” Abby said her eyes dancing across Lexa’s face with hope she hadn’t felt in years.

“Save them? Abby, what do you mean? What happened in that bunker?” She asked in confusion. She had just sent Madi off to meet them. If Octavia was so dangerous, where was _Clarke_? Why didn't she come back with Abby?

“It’s a really long story. But she isn’t the girl you once knew.” Kane admitted.

“Clarke? Is she safe?” Lexa asked looking back to Abby.

“She is, she’s with Bellamy. Octavia won't hurt them but she will be marching the army here now to fight.” Abby said but eyed Kane carefully. Warning him not to mention anything about missiles.

“Octavia is going to start a war in the only liveable land on earth? Is she crazy?” Lexa asked astonished Octavia could make such a stupid decision. Abby laughed awkwardly without humour.

“We have so much to talk about,” she muttered, and she walked over to the machine that had just loaded Vinson’s results.

“What’s wrong with them?” Kane asked.

“I’m not sure yet.” She said “I need to concentrate for a bit. We can catch up a bit later,” she said turning to smile softly at Lexa. Lexa nodded but couldn’t help the frown forming on her face as she watched Abby’s shaking hands touch the screen in front of her. Lexa moved to the back of the room where her and Clarke had sat so many times before, after dark. After Madi had fallen asleep and it was just the two of them. She sat in the soft chairs and swallowed down the emotion in her throat.

She missed the times it was just her Clarke and Madi. Life had been so simple. So safe. She didn’t recognise the world anymore. She had got so comfortable in the one she had found with Clarke.

“Did Clarke tell you what happened after your death?” Kane asked, closing the double doors and giving Abby some space to work by herself.

“She did,” Lexa said, not taking her eyes off the pictures on the wall. All drawn by Clarke and Madi’s hand.

“Life would have been so much easier then if we had known you were alive,” he said and motioned the chair opposite her. He was asking permission to sit. Lexa held back a smirk as she nodded.

“I wish I had known. I wish I had healed faster. I woke the day the death wave came. I wasn’t in any fit state to lead before then. I was in a coma, from my wound.” She explained.

“Just knowing you were alive would have been enough,” Kane guessed hopefully.

“It wouldn’t have. The events would have still played out the same, only I might have had my throat slit in my sleep just as my natblidas had.” Lexa said grimly.

“Why would you say that?” He frowned. “You were commander.”

“I was unfit to command. They would have mercy killed me probably before Ontari got the chance to do it herself. No commander is able to lead if they’re not conscious.” Lexa explained. These were the ways of her people, she knew that. After a few days when Lexa didn’t wake up, they would assume her spirit was dead and would kill her body along with it. The fleimkepa that took her to her mother’s sister knew this. Who ever it was, she owed them her life. Her people didn’t understand the complexities of medicine and the body. Not as Skaikru did. Clarke had guessed straight away what Lexa had gone through because she had been trained for such a thing. The healers of the clans worked with basic medicine, not science.

Kane wasn’t sure how to respond to these words. He sat silently for a moment in thought. Things would be different now. Maybe if Lexa became commander he would be pardoned for his ‘crimes’. If Lexa could subdue Octavia. He would be safe. Right?

“What happened Kane?” Lexa whispered, eying the man before her. She had once considered him an ally. She wasn’t sure who he was anymore, who anyone was apparently. Six years was a long time.

“Octavia did what was necessary to keep us alive.” Kane admitted quietly. He wouldn’t admit it to Abby or anyone else, but he felt comfortable in the commander’s presence. She deserved to know everything. And the truth was what would have happened if Octavia didn’t do what she did?

“And now?”

“Now I think she’s going to kill them all for an unnecessary war and probably destroy the only liveable place along with the human race.”

“Octavia is capable of that?” Lexa asked raising her eyebrow.

“Absolutely,” Kane said without breaking eye contact. This scared Lexa.

“You think my people will follow her into certain death?” Lexa asked. Had she truly earnt that kind of devotion from her people? Kane’s response scared Lexa even more.

“I am sure of it.”

\-------------------

Clarke couldn’t process the words Octavia was saying to her own brother. She had threatened his life and thanked him in the same sentence.

They were in a clearing, people were coughing and gasping in pain all around her. Octavia was barely able to sit up and Indra was ushering Wonkru with orders.

Her attention was diverted the second she heard the rover come into sight. The door swung open and Madi was running towards her. Clarke moved and ran to her. She pulled her into her arms spinning as she clung to her. She couldn’t explain the relief she felt having her in her arms again. Her eyes fell to the rover. Panic suddenly setting in. She put Madi on her feet and made a movement towards the rover. She had to stop Lexa coming out of that truck. Octavia was going to flip out, she didn’t know what blodreina would do at the sight of Lexa.

“She’s not in there,” Madi insisted, grabbing Clarke’s wrist. Clarke watched as Monty, Harper and Echo exited the car. Echo ran straight to Bellamy. She watched as the pair embraced and kissed. Her eyes widened at the sight. Now that was something she didn’t expect. She pushed away the feeling of jealousy she had. She wanted Lexa in her arms like that. It had only been a few days and every part of her missed her. She turned back to Madi.

“Where is she?” She asked her quietly. She hated the feeling in her stomach. It was a feeling of dread.

“She surrendered herself to Eligius.” Madi explained and Clarke felt like she was about to lash out in panic. What the _hell_ was Lexa thinking?

“She wanted to protect your mom. She said that she was going to go undercover, to find out more about them. Then Murphy came running out, telling us about the missiles. We had to leave her, there was no time to get a message to her. She told me to get to you if I could. That I would be safer here than with her.” Madi explained quickly. Clarke relaxed momentarily. Of course, Lexa would protect her mom. Clarke’s heart ached with the amount of love she felt for her girlfriend at that moment but part of her wanted her here by her side. She wanted to talk to her about what needed to happen now, about Octavia. She turned to see Octavia watching Echo and her brother with a burning hate in her eyes. Clarke hugged Madi closer to her body. What if Octavia saw Madi as a threat too?

She needed to make up a story about how Madi had survived. And fast. She had been worried about Lexa this whole time, worried she would be put back on the throne, but she hadn’t taken a second to consider they’d try put Madi on it too. Until now.

There was no time for a power struggle during a war and she certainly wasn’t having her child caught up in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shof op - Be quiet


	6. 5x06

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke is insistent on keeping Lexa's existence a secret and keeping Madi safe. Madi complicates the plan. Lexa has a growing concern for Abby's addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter sort of overlaps with the last episode, I was originally going to cut the scene where Kane leaves Abby to talk to Diyoza, but I realised Lexa would probably have something to say about it. Its a little bit choppier than the other chapters sorry about that, i didnt feel like the episode itself flowed very easily and i struggled including parts of it.
> 
> If its been a while since youve seen season 5, theres a big chunk in this chapter i miss out where Clarke talks to Niylah, Gaia confronts her and warns her about Niylah's allegiance. This interaction happens the same i just chose not to write it out as it was quite lengthy.
> 
> Also im not a fan of this part of Madi's development but i had to keep it in for my future plans to work. Madi will be a less focal part of the story by the end of season 5.

Kane woke suddenly. He turned to see Abby and Lexa looking through the files at the table. Kane couldn’t remember the last time Abby slept.

“Did she sleep at all?” He asked Lexa. She shook her head softly, not looking up at him in front of her. Kane sighed. He had updated Lexa on what was going on with Abby and Lexa was torn between being on Kane’s side and realising its not her place to say anything to Abby. All she could do was support her and hope she came to the decision about the pills herself.

“Give me the pills,” Kane said as Abby continued her work.

“No,” she responded.

“You promised,” Kane retorted, and the pair looked at each other for a moment before the doors swung open. Lexa immediately stood, her hands going behind her back and clasping them together. She had hidden a blade in her belt at her lower back. Just in case. Abby stood and Lexa went to her side immediately.

“Can we help you?” Lexa asked as one of the prisoners came over to them at the table.

“Diyoza seems to think so.” He murmured his eyes on Abby the whole time. “Take him,” the prisoner ordered and pointed to Kane.

“What? Hold on a minute, no. Wait hold on a minute!” Abby began protesting. Lexa was torn with protecting Abby and taking the two guys out that were grabbing Kane. She made the movement fast. She could have them on the floor and hopefully back to Abby before the leader seemed to know what had happened. Kane locked eyes with her and shook his head. This halted her advances and she stayed at Abby’s side. Protect Abby. No matter what. That was her and Kane’s agreement.

“Abby, Lexa, don’t fight them,” he said as he was pushed from the room. Abby went to go after him, but McCreary lunged for her.

“Where are you taking him?” Lexa asked, she had rounded on the prisoner. Stopping him from touching Abby. She pulled his legs out and he stumbled, grabbing the counter nearby. She had the scalpel at his throat.

“Diyoza just wants to talk to him.” He explained staring down at the woman before him.

“If anything happens to him. I will kill you.” She said threat coating her voice. McCreary smirked and moved to sit on the table by Abby.

“No, you won’t,” he responded, and Lexa fought with every ounce of her being not to slit the man’s throat there and then. He was cocky. He was protected by Diyoza. Or at least Lexa and Abby thought so, and that was enough.

“Which one of these is yours?” Abby asked and looked over to Lexa. With a small nod, Lexa backed down but didn’t take her eyes off the prisoner for one second as Abby began treating him. She didn’t like this one. Not at all. This was not the kind of person that could live peacefully in a valley with others he didn’t agree with. He was not part of her vision. She hoped she might get the satisfaction of witnessing his death at some point. For now, she would watch him carefully, but she knew… next time she won’t be holding back.

\------------------

As they walked back to Polis Clarke stayed close to Bellamy and Echo. Madi held her hand and Monty and Harper walked close behind. It was clear they were the odd ones out in this group of people. Octavia’s army was stoic, marching behind her. No one uttered a single word.

Monty and Harper muttered between each other. Clarke noticed Echo was surveying everything around her, constantly looking for threats. Bellamy walked normally, occasionally looking over at Clarke or down to his girlfriend at his side. Madi kept wanting to talk about Octavia but Clarke wasn’t listening. Her mind was racing.

“Bellamy,” she said softly. He turned to face her. “I need you to let the others know our agreement. Nothing has changed,” she said eying Echo and Monty and Harper.

“If a piece of information will save Echo from my sister. I have to use it,” he explained but Clarke shook her head.

“No one will believe you. Not until they see her. If we create uncertainty surely that will be worse,” Clarke argued.

“She is correct Bellamy. I’ve sworn myself to the commander. I will protect her and her voice whilst she isn’t here. We do this her way.” Echo said with a nod. Clarke nodded back, grateful for the ally where Lexa was concerned. It frustrated Bellamy. Echo didn’t even know the commander. Not properly. But Bellamy knew his girlfriend well. Of course, Echo would fall in line behind the familiarity and surety of the commander. She was a follower. She liked having a purpose, someone to believe in. Lexa was now that person for her. Whilst it frustrated him, Bellamy would come to accept it, despite is own previous opinions on Lexa. He recognised everyone had changed in six years. He had known from just a few minutes seeing Lexa again she wasn’t the same. Clarke had changed her. Madi had changed her. Just like he had changed, just like Echo had. Things weren’t so black and white to him anymore. He had once openly defied the commander, hated that she was pushing her values onto his people, onto Clarke. But now? If it saved Echo’s life, and freed his sister, having Lexa alive was the greatest thing that could have happened to him.

“She should be here,” Bellamy cursed.

“I begged her to come with us. To let me be the spy but she wouldn’t have it.” Echo explained looking at Clarke. Clarke smirked, knowing that was exactly like Lexa.

"She wanted to protect my mom,” Clarke said.

“Yes,” Echo muttered. “I kept insisting on calling her heda though. I think it annoyed her but eventually she started acting like the commander again,” she said proud of herself.

“Oh, I can believe that,” Clarke smiled back. “The more we learn about Octavia and her gladiator cult the better”, she said eying Echo and Echo nodded.

“As long as Octavia doesn’t kill me first.” Echo responded and Bellamy squeezed her hand in response.

“We won’t say a thing Clarke. Your secret is safe with us,” Harper chimed in realising they were talking about keeping Lexa a secret, for now.

“Thanks,” Clarke responded as one of the guards turned to face them.

“Blodreina requests wanheda’s presence,” he said and motioned for Clarke to move ahead of him. They were arriving in Polis now. The army was splitting with some heading back into the bunker.

Clarke took Madi’s hand and followed the guard into the bunker and a room where Octavia was waiting.

“My arm,” she murmured hiding her pain as much as she could. Clarke nodded and went over to treat Octavia’s wound.

Madi watched Octavia with awe and devotion. Clarke continued to aid Octavia, aware of Madi’s grinning face off to the side. This wasn’t the Octavia she had told Madi so much about. She wasn’t sure how she was going to tell her child to keep her distance from her idol. From the woman she had been so excited to meet.

“What’s your story? You survived six years of radiation? What’s your secret?” Octavia turned; her eyes boring into the child in front of her.

“Synthetic nightblood. Like me. I took her to Becca’s lab and shared my bone marrow to keep her alive.” Clarke explained quickly before Madi could say a word.

“You’re lucky Clarke found you,” Octavia remarked as the door opened. Both Madi and Clarke watched as Octavia left the room. Clarke could see the admiration on Madi’s face and it worried her.

“Octavia is such a badass,” Madi exclaimed after she left. Clarke smiled softly but turned to face her child. “I wish we didn’t have to lie to her.” She added.

“Hey, listen. We have to lie to everyone to keep you safe. If the grounders find out what you are. Some of them might try replace Octavia with you. I can’t have you caught up in a power struggle. We have to keep you a secret until Lexa can get here. The grounders can decide between Octavia and Lexa but I will not let them have you. Do you hear me?” Clarke asked, her hand resting softly on Madi’s cheek. Madi nodded softly in understanding. She wasn’t sure she wanted to witness a fight between Lexa and Octavia. All this uncertainty plagued her mind. She wanted to help. All this time Lexa and Clarke had protected _her_. What if she could protect _them_ too?

\------------------

_Clarke and Niylah talk, she knows about Madi. Gaia attacks Niylah and promises to protect Madi._

\------------------

Clarke started to pack the clothes they had. Tears threatening to fall from her eyes as she packed. Madi turned, aware of someone in their tent. Clarke's mind was racing over what happened with Gaia and Niylah. She hated seeing the devotion on Gaia’s face and she wasn’t sure if she did the right thing. Should she have told her Lexa was alive? Would she have believed her if she said it? All she could think about was the danger over Madi’s head. All she wanted to do was get her to a safe space. Get her back to Shallow Valley. To Lexa. To home.

“What’s wrong?” Madi asked Clarke from the bed.

“We can’t stay here,” Clarke answered.

“No, no, Clarke…” Madi began but Clarke interrupted.

“You should never have left that valley. You should have stayed with Lexa.” She said emotion taking over her composure.

“I did that because you were in trouble. Lexa told me to get back to you.”

“Listen to me,” Clarke sighed, coming over to Madi. “Niylah knows the truth about you. When Octavia finds out-“

“Octavia is your friend,” Madi said with surety. Madi didn’t understand why Clarke couldn’t just explain the truth. Tell her that Madi didn’t want the flame.

“She used to be. But Octavia is not the girl from the stories I told you.” Clarke explained. “Not anymore.”

“You think she’ll hurt me?” Madi asked.

“I don’t know, but I do know I can’t risk anything bad happening to you. You’re my family. Family looks out for each other.”

“Where will we go?”

“Home.”

“Clarke, we can’t. If we go back there Diyoza will kill you”

“I know it sucks, but sometimes there are no good choices. If anything happens to me...” Clarke said swallowing the emotion in her voice. “You need to find Lexa. Find my mom. You find them okay? Do you understand?” she asked. Both of them had tears in their eyes now. Madi reached to hug Clarke tightly. Clarke held her child, blinking away the tears. She understood why Lexa had made the decision to send Madi back to her but part of her wished Lexa would have just put her in one of their caves and told her to stay hidden until one of them came for her. Too many people knew about Madi now. Her life was at risk.

Madi wasn’t accepting that. As she hugged Clarke, she knew she had to do something. Lexa and Clarke had taught her to protect family. No matter what. Her family was Lexa and Clarke. She couldn’t risk anything happening to Clarke. She was going to protect her.

She was the child of wanheda and heda after all.

\------------------

Madi was gone. Clarke pushed the dread down in her stomach and followed Bellamy. She had gone to talk to Bellamy about the gunshots and only taken her eyes off Madi for a second. She mustn’t have gone far. No one here knew who she was, no one here would harm her.

Unless she ran into Niylah.

No.

Clarke shook the thought from her head. Niylah was good. She couldn’t believe everything Gaia had said. Surely Niylah wouldn’t hurt her child. Niylah was better than that, wasn’t she?

Panic hit her like a tonne of bricks when she saw Octavia and Madi alone in the arena. Was she going to kill her? Would Octavia kill a child to secure her reign? The old Octavia wouldn’t. Clarke was sure about that. But this was Blodreina. She didn’t know who this person was. The power she possessed scared her. That power would be at risk if Wonkru were aware of Madi or Lexa. To Blodreina they’re her greatest threat, right? But what about Octavia? The Octavia she knew never wanted to be a leader. She would have happily handed the throne back to Lexa without a second thought.

Clarke couldn’t think of this as she ran, as fast as she could physically manage down the ramp to Madi. Octavia had joined their bloody hands and initiated Madi into Wonkru. Clarke wanted nothing more than to rip Madi free of Octavia’s grasp and run as far away as she could.

“It’s okay she knows everything,” Madi said as Clarke reached Madi. Her hand stung in pain.

“I understand why you lied Clarke. You were just trying to protect her. But Madi no longer needs your protection. She has mine. I know what its like to be the girl under the floor. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. Your training begins tomorrow,” Octavia said before turning to Clarke as she left. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

Clarke watched as Blodreina left the arena and the door closed behind her.

“Let me see that hand.” Clarke said turning to Madi, realising she was in pain with the cut.

“I know you’re mad, but I told her I don’t want to be commander. I did it to keep you safe.”

“That’s _my_ job and you just made it a whole lot harder. You said you told her everything…” Clarke asked trailing off and staring into Madi's eyes. What had she done? How much had she said?

“No.” Madi answered quickly, knowing Clarke was asking about Lexa. “I said it was just us.” Clarke nodded in relief. At least some of her and Lexa’s teachings had stuck in Madi’s head. Even if the sacrificial ones seemed to be more prevalent. Clarke wasn’t sure who she was madder at: herself for telling Madi the stories or Madi for somehow inheriting the stubbornness and martyr traits from both her caregivers.

It didn’t matter now anyway. Madi’s secret was out. Clarke just had to keep her safe now until she could work out their next move. Everything felt like it was eating away at Clarke. This secrecy had to end. The unsurety. It was too much during a war.

She needed Lexa now more than ever.


	7. 5X07

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa worries for Abby's mental health. Clarke worries for Madi's safety. Lexa gains a flamekeeper and makes a plan with Echo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't supposed to take this long to post but it was a really really long chapter and took me longer to edit it than i thought. Sorry about that. Thank you for all the support you have given me with this story. The comments and the kudos really mean a lot.

Lexa felt like the days had blurred into one.

“You look as tired as me,” Abby said watching Lexa lean against the wall, her eyes were focused on the drawings by Clarke's hand.

“I am having trouble sleeping,” Lexa answered surprised Abby had remembered she was here for once. The longer she spent with Abby the more she realised, this woman wasn’t the woman Clarke had told her so much about. The withdrawal paired with the drugs she took made her a shell of who she used to be. She was keeping Abby safe from the prisoners but felt her job was going to be all for nothing if Abby killed herself instead.

“Isn’t this your home? Your bed?” She asked, eying the large bed Lexa shared with Clarke.

“It is. But it’s a little emptier than I’m used to.” She responded, moving her eyes to look at Abby instead of the wall.

“You miss Clarke,” she said with a nod.

“Six years is a long time,” was all Lexa responded with.

“Yes, yes, it is,” Abby said. “It’s no secret I haven’t always been a fan of you. Your culture was so foreign to us, we struggled to trust you all those years ago, but I saw what your death did to my daughter. I saw how much she loved you and well…” she said and paused for a moment before finishing. “I’m really glad Clarke has you.” She said with a small nod. Lexa gave her a small smile, grateful of her acceptance. Lexa didn’t want to talk about Clarke and definitely didn’t want the images of Clarke in grief over her death, so she didn’t respond. Abby decided to drop the subject when it was clear the commander didn’t want to talk about how much she missed Clarke. They may be on speaking and cooperative terms but they both still came from extremely variant cultures. Abby could accept Lexa because Clarke loved her but even after six years with grounders, she still couldn’t deny their ways were extreme.

Lexa was grateful for Abby not pressing her about Clarke. In truth Lexa couldn’t sleep easily without her by her side. Over the years she had grown used to her girlfriend’s presence. The warmth of her. Her familiar touch. It had only been days since she last saw her and yet it felt like months. It felt like there was a cavernous hole in Lexa’s chest that was slowly eroding. An expanding emptiness that only Clarke could fill.

Before anything else could be said the door swung open and a guard walked in with a limp body cradled in his arms.

“This one is for you,” he said and dropped her roughly on the medical bed. Abby and Lexa jumped up and rushed over to the unconscious girl. The prisoner said no words as he left the two women to guess for themselves what was going on.

Abby didn’t say anything as she ran over to the girl. Lexa recognised grounder clothing; she was a defector. Lexa came over to Abby with the medical tools and stepped out of the way. Abby had been teaching her names for items, but she was still no real help in a medical emergency. Lexa worried at Abby’s mental state and whether she could do this surgery. She had taken a pill about an hour ago. The girl on the table groaned in pain. Her eyes shot open and locked on Lexa.

“Heda?” She asked. Her voice was a prayer. “Heda,” she cried, and Lexa leant forward. Her hand going into the girls. She started to sob in relief. Karina was sure she was dreaming, or dead. But she didn’t care. Her commander was here.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Lexa assured the girl who clung to Lexa like a lifeline. Karina slipped back into unconsciousness as Abby started to work to save her life. Lexa watched; many things were running through her head as she watched Abby before her. There were times when Abby would just pause, her eyes glazing over as if she was staring at something or thinking about something. Lexa would see the blood pulse from the wound where Abby had her hands. It would only be moments, but it was enough of a pause that Lexa was sure this girl was about to die because Abby couldn’t concentrate.

She felt the strength leave the girls hand in her own.

“Yu gonplei ste odon,” Lexa whispered. Gently lowering the girls hand on the bench. Moments after she uttered the words Abby stopped. Sweat was pouring from her face. Blood all over her hands. She was shaking again now. She moved against the wall in defeat. Slouching down and just stared at the girl on the table in front of her.

“Abby?” Lexa asked softly but the woman didn’t move to look at her. If she didn’t feel so much pity for the woman, she’d be angry at her for failing Karina. But Lexa recognised that Abby had been through things not even Lexa could imagine. She wasn’t sure what cannibalism did to a person. It was moments later that Kane burst into the room.

Kane registered the view before him. The dead girl on the table. Lexa stood watching Abby who was curled up against the wall.

“The defectors are in the church. Echo was with them,” Kane said turning to Lexa. She nodded and began to move for the door. He nodded once as she left, leaving him with a dishevelled, withdrawn, exhausted Abby.

Lexa didn’t want to be in that room, Kane would shout, and Abby would defend herself. It was an unending cycle the pair had been going down for the past few days. Lexa would often go for a short walk around the village whilst they did that. It wasn’t her place to hear their squabbles. It wasn’t her relationship. Her job was to keep Abby safe from the prisoners not from Kane.

Kane and Lexa had agreed that when the defectors arrived, she would address them. Mostly to gauge their response to her presence. To test the waters as to whether the rest of Wonkru would choose her over Octavia if given the choice.

So, Lexa strode across the square and up the steps to the church. She paused for a moment, her hand on the door.

Lexa took a deep breath as she opened the door and took a step inside. She wasn’t sure how they would react, but these were her people. She had to face them. To let them see her so they knew their sacrifice wasn’t for nothing. The guards were outside the door, so she felt safe enough to enter without drawing too much attention.

Some heads turned to the door as she stepped in. There were just a handful of people in the room no more than 10 or 15.

“Heda?” A young man asked and that’s when everyone else turned to look at the door. Their faces lit up. In adoration, in confusion, in relief. Mixtures of emotions were everywhere but all of them fell to their knees at the sight of her.

“Yes,” she said softly, “please,” she uttered and reached for the man who had fallen to his knees in front of her. Her eyes scanned the group until they landed on a familiar face at the back. He wasn’t kneeling, he was just smiling. It had been so long since Lexa had seen him, he had aged gracefully in the last ten years, but Lexa would know him in a crowd of hundreds. Lexa felt the urge to run into his arms but held back as she addressed her people in front of her.

“I’m so glad to see you all,” she said in truth. She didn’t know any of the faces, but they all knew her.

“Heda. Are you here to save us?” The man asked standing before Lexa.

She had done so much of that in the past. Fought so many battles to keep these people safe. She’d always had the most love from the more common people. Her ambassadors took a lot to keep their faith but when she was doubting herself, she would always just take a walk. Through the streets of Polis people would fall to their knees, bow their heads respectively, present her with endless gifts and admiration. It only took a walk to remember how much her people had loved her. She had protected them, united them. She had given some of them a life they couldn’t dream of. She had led them to Polis, to trade and friendships that were impossible before her coalition. The clans working together, sharing their culture had been the most beneficial to those lower down. It was something she saw in tenfold. It was only the greed and ambition of their leaders that complicated things higher up. Every clan ambassador always wanted more.

“I’m going to do everything in my power to save our people,” she said. The man before her frowned at her tone of voice, at the sight of the commander in front of him. This was a very different commander than they remembered but it was her words that gave them comfort.

“I need you all to do something for me though.” She continued and looked around at the grounders before her. They watched her earnestly.

“I need you to treat me as one of your own. Whilst we are here no one can know what I am or who I am to you. You must call me Lexa; you must treat me as you would any other. I need to remain hidden under the eyes of these people,” she explained and some of them nodded in agreement, some of them frowned.

“They offered us freedom, gave us a better life away from Blodreina. Do you think them our enemies Heda?” One called from the middle of the group.

“They have treated me well and as long as they continue to treat us, as a people, well I shall not refer to them as enemies no. However. They are not of our culture; they know nothing of this earth. Of our home. We need to remain cautious and observant. We need to make sure they do not plan to hurt or destroy our traditions and customs. This valley is big enough to share. I want to ensure they keep that promise.” She announced, and the remaining few sceptics began to nod in agreement.

“We shall do as you order us Heda. For we are so grateful you have returned to us,” the one in front of her said with another bow of his head. Lexa reached for his hand in comfort. She didn’t know why she was comforting him. This was a normal response from one of her people but at the same time she felt guilty that they had suffered for six years.

“You heard the commander. It’s time to treat her as one of us. Go back to what you were doing and pretend this conversation never happened,” a voice from the back announced and mutters of ‘yes flamekeeper’ chorused around the room. The man strode forward as Lexa’s eyes locked onto him.

He stopped right in front of the commander, his wide smile beaming down at her.

He extended his arm in greeting and she copied, clasping his large arm in her hand.

“It’s good to see you Elias,” she said. Her people hadn’t been watching. They were too busy talking between themselves now, renewed hope behind their words. _Heda is alive_. Whispers of her title resonated in the room. Trigedasleng had always been useful in times of war but now especially so.

“You too Lexa. Although it is no surprise to me.” Elias said and winked.

“You saved me?” Lexa asked in shock. He took her hand and walked her over to one of the tables to sit. They leant forward and spoke in hushed voices.

“I arrived in Polis the day of your death. I tried to get to you to see you again for myself, but the guards wouldn’t let me into your chambers. Said you had a _guest_ ,” he said and raised his eyebrows for a moment. Lexa would have blushed if she hadn’t had so many years practice to hide it.

“I waited. When Titus carried you out of that room and I saw the blood my heart stopped. I took you from him, promising I would deal with your body but as I cried over you, as I examined you, I realised your heart was still beating. I knew our people wouldn’t accept you as wounded as you were, so I took you. I knew that someone from home would save you. Trikru would protect you.” He explained.

“Acaira,” Lexa nodded. “She saved me. After I woke, I travelled the waste land until I found Shallow Valley. I found Clarke here,” she continued although she wasn’t sure Elias knew Clarke.

“I’ve heard much about the commander of death in the bunker. I had my suspicions about you two. From all the stories.” He said with a smirk. Lexa couldn’t smile back. She stared into Elias’ eyes. And only felt guilt. It had been _so_ many years since she had seen him. Last time she saw him Costia had still been alive. It felt like another life. She had changed and been through so much since then. “She’d want you to be happy.” He said softly. He knew her too well. Elias knew there was an elephant in the room that had been their mutual friend. Elias had grown up with Lexa. With Costia. He had been almost a brother to them both although not by blood. They would train together as children. With Lincoln and Luna too. That was when Lexa and Luna could have freedom from their natblida training of course. Elias had chosen to be a flamekeeper scout. He wasn’t in Polis when Costia had been taken. That was four years before the hundred. Another six makes ten.

And yet it was like no time had passed.

“Why did you return to Polis?” Lexa asked. “That day,” she clarified.

“I heard you killed the Azgeda queen. It took me a while to return but I needed to see you. I wanted to know for myself that Costia had been avenged.” He said softly, his eyes falling to Lexa’s hands on the table. The scars on her skin were familiar to him. He could write stories of those scars. There were some new ones but most of them he had been around for. He had caused a few himself in their sparing sessions.

Elias had been Lexa’s favourite sparring partner as a child. Combat was as easy as breathing for him. Lexa often thought, had he been a natblida, he’d have made a great commander.

“Why did you choose to deflect from Octavia?” Lexa asked although she was sure she already knew the answer.

“We’ve all done unspeakable things to stay alive Lexa. But I did not agree with Octavia’s thirst for war with these people. They’re stronger, more advanced. They have weapons and an eye in the sky. I was scared. So was everyone else.” He continued. Lexa wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It was history repeating itself. They encountered a similar problem when the hundred landed. She remembered how the scouts kept her updated on the war with Trirkru and the hundred. How Clarke had escalated that war by killing so many of her people. How everything had changed once she met the girl who fell from the sky.

There were a few moments of comfortable silence before Elias spoke again.

“I should never have chosen to be a scout. I should have accepted Titus’ offer of his apprentice,” he said bowing his head. “If I had stayed by your side. Maybe… maybe-“ he stuttered but Lexa cut him off.

“You couldn’t have done anything. Titus was convinced Clarke would be my downfall. He would have found a way eventually to prove it. Whether it was the gunshot to my stomach or Clarke's head.” She said shivering at the thought of seeing Clarke in the same way she saw Costia.

“Titus… you must hate him,” he said looking up at her.

“No… No, I don’t hate him. He loved me. Against his better judgement, against the rules and duty as a fleimkepa. He didn’t mean to hurt me. It was an accident. He was scared of love. Of what I felt for Clarke. He didn't think I would survive another loss like Costia.” Lexa explained with a sure nod. Elias frowned.

“You forgive him? For trying to hurt Clarke? For almost killing you?” He asked.

“No. I don’t think I could forgive anyone that came after Clarke. But I do understand that his decision came from love. Love for me and worry for my safety. I’ve had many years to think about it. Many years to be angry and hateful and many to see past it and realise the past is the past that can’t be changed. I’m not sure if things would have been different if I never got shot. I would have been in that bunker with the rest of you. What kind of person would I be now if I had spent six years apart from Clarke? I can’t think in these loops. I have too many other things to worry about now,” she explained, and Elias nodded, a smirk appearing on his lips.

“Six years has made you wiser and stronger than ever before. I have never been prouder of you. Titus would be too.”

“Six years is a long time,” Lexa agreed with a nod. Echoing her words to Abby earlier.

“It definitely is,” he sighed, remembering the last six years in the bunker. How different would it have been had Lexa been in charge rather than Octavia?

“I won’t ask you to relive the pain you’ve felt during those years, but I will ask you one thing… The flame?” She said barely above a whisper.

“With a fleimkepa in Polis.” He answered with a nod. “I am ashamed to admit I lost faith in the bunker. I had no idea if you were still alive or you had died from the wound. I tried every day to think of you. But as the years went on, as Blodreina reigned, I gave up hope. I wasn’t sure how you would have survived on the ground if you lived through the wave. I thought you were dead for sure. With no other natblidas left, I had no purpose as a fleimkepa. There are a few still devoted that kept the flame safe, but I didn’t see an end to blodreina, so I gave up my title,” he said with a bow of his head.

“The others here still call you fleimkepa,” Lexa said looking back at her people who started to seem to be more comfortable in their new surroundings.

“Just habit I suspect.” He shrugged.

“What about now? Will you be my fleimkepa? Will you protect me as you once did when we were children?” Lexa asked reaching out her hand across the table again to take his in her hand. Lexa needed to have people she trusted around her. A guard she knew were loyal to her. A fleimkepa to help protect her family, not just her. Elias would understand her pain, understand the need to protect Clarke and Madi just as much as her own life.

“I swear it Heda,” he said instantly and without regret.

\--------------

“Okay” Clarke said with a sigh as she finished Madi’s braid. Madi jumped up excitedly ready to start her day training with the other kids. She hadn’t been around other kids in so long.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hey, canteen,” Clarke said handing Madi a flask she filled herself.

“I’m pretty sure they’re going to have water there,” Madi said with a sigh.

“Take it anyway,” Clarke said not wanting to tell Madi she feared for her life. Feared for the many ways someone could kill her.

“Clarke I’m not a baby anymore,” Madi complained with a glare that Clarke recognised Madi had picked up from Lexa.

“I know. Which is why people are more likely to notice how special you are. Which is why you’re going to suck today. You’re not going to stand out in any way. You’re not going to use any of the techniques Lexa taught you. You’re not going to show that you were trained by a Trikru warrior. No one can think you’d make a good commander. Not Gaia and especially not Octavia.”

“Clarke, I understand,” Madi said with a roll of her eyes. Clarke could hardly handle the attitude, but she knew it was a normal thing for a kid of Madi’s age to go through.

“Once Echo gets that camera in the sky down, we’ll all get to go home to Shallow Valley.” She explained quickly.

“Great. When we fight the war there, I won’t have to suck’” Madi said and leant forward to kiss Clarke’s cheek.

Clarke knew in that moment Madi was going to be one hell of a teenager. She watched as Madi left the tent and she was left with the letter Jasper left for Monty. She sighed and knew it was a good a time as any to go see her old friend.

\-------------

A guard entered with food into the church. Lexa noticed how he waited, watched as the defectors collected and ate the food. Lexa saw Raven and Echo sitting together, eating in hushed voices.

“I need to go and talk to Echo and Raven.” She explained to Elias in front of her. He nodded.

“I will get them to trust me enough to remove the collar. Until then, I am little use to you as a fleimkepa if I can’t be by your side.” He explained and Lexa nodded in agreement.

“I’ll speak to you soon,” she said, and he returned her nod as she walked away from him and over to Echo and Raven across the room.

Echo resisted the urge to stand to attention as she reached them.

“Heda,” she said with a small nod of her head as Lexa sat next to Raven.

“I trust you did as I asked,” she said and Echo nodded once.

“Madi is safe with Clarke,” Echo answered, and Lexa nodded in relief. “Didn’t take you long,” she said with a smirk.

Lexa raised an eyebrow in question.

“Once a commander, always a commander,” Echo murmured.

“I haven’t agreed to it yet. I need to talk to Clarke first. These people have gone through so much. They deserved an ounce of hope.” Lexa explained.

“You already have a fleimkepa,” she said eying Elias who was watching Lexa’s back like a hawk.

“He’s an old friend and I need all the friends I can get here. If Diyoza finds out I have any amount of power over Octavia’s people, she will use that to her advantage.”

“You haven’t told her?” Raven asked and Lexa gently shook her head. She worried every day how much Kane was telling Diyoza but hoped he was smart enough to realise that if Octavia won this war, he needed someone less hostile to lead Wonkru and that Lexa would be an easy transition of power.

“I need to stay hidden from the eyes of our enemy. So that when I see Clarke again, I can discuss the future of Wonkru together.”

“I always thought being commander was a one-person job,” Raven remarked. Raven could still see Finn tied up on a pillar. She could still see the woman before her stand by and order his death. Times had changed, their people had changed but Raven couldn’t help the animosity. She stayed silent. Knowing she couldn’t speak out much more against the commander or the people in this room would be lining up to take her head.

“I’m not the same commander as I was before. I have something to lose now. I have a lot to lose and I will not make a decision for my family without my other half.” Lexa said. She knew how much she would beg for Clarke to agree. But Raven didn’t need to know that. Lexa was sure it was going to be a hard conversation with Clarke, but she also knew that Clarke wasn’t stupid. Things had changed. Octavia had changed. Lexa had faith Clarke would see the benefits of retaking the helm as commander. They had lives to save. Their people.

“She’ll agree to it,” Echo said with a nod. “She wants to protect Madi from them.”

“Madi? Is Madi in danger?” Lexa asked suddenly.

“Clarke thinks they’re going to make Madi commander. To overthrow Blodreina,” Echo explained what Bellamy had told her. Panic rose in Lexa’s gut. Why the hell didn’t she think about that?

“I should have kept her here.” Lexa said in frustration. “I thought she’d be safer with Clarke.”

“None of us knew what we were sending Madi into. We didn’t know what Octavia was like. Not truly.” Echo gave Lexa some relief in the words.

“If these people bowed to me so easily. There’s going to be others that will bow to Madi too. That will want her to be commander,” Lexa deduced.

“Absolutely,” Echo agreed although she knew it wouldn’t bring comfort to the commander.

“Clarke will protect her,” Lexa said, although her eyes were dancing across the wall in front of her now. Trying to think of a way to protect them. Could she actually get to them before they arrived in the valley?

“There’s no way you can get to them without being on that ship,” Echo said, seeing what Lexa was thinking. “Talking of the ship, Raven there’s something I need you to see,” Echo added looking to the other girl at the commanders’ side.

“They’re watching us. Come, both of you, let’s get some water.” She said and stood. Lexa and Raven smoothly followed. Keeping their backs to the prisoners who were now entering the church with blankets and more food.

“Monty said I need to insert it into any console connected to the transport ships primary server.” Echo said as Raven picked up the small drive to examine it.

“it’s essentially a keylogger. Auto instals and opens a back door to their surveillance system that only Monty can see its brilliant. Too bad we can’t get to the bridge without our heads exploding.” Raven scoffed.

“What about you? You don’t have a collar. Are you allowed to roam anywhere you want?” Echo asked turning to Lexa. She shook her head just once.

“I’m allowed only in the village,” Lexa explained.

“What about Kane? Maybe he-?” Echo began.

“I saw him, he’s with Diyoza. I don’t know what happened to him in that bunker but he’s different.” Raven reasoned. Lexa couldn’t argue with that. Her and Kane’s current agreement stemmed on Abby’s safety. Nothing more. She was getting more and more suspicious that Kane was bargaining her people’s lives for the sake of his own, but she needed more proof first. Raven seemed to be already thinking the same as Lexa.

“You haven’t seen them Raven. They’re _all_ different.” Echo responded. “Murphy said you had someone inside their camp,” Echo continued. Raven nodded to the pilot who had just entered the room.

“Can we trust him?” Lexa asked sceptically.

“I hope so. He’s our only shot,” Raven responded coldly before walking away.

Lexa watched as Raven went to talk to the pilot before she turned to Echo.

“She doesn’t like me,” Lexa said to Echo.

“Finn,” Echo said with a nod. She had heard the stories from the others on the ark. “She’ll come around. Old grudges are useless in war.”

Lexa didn’t have much of a response to that. Raven was an emotional being. All Skaikru were. They didn’t experience the same training that her and Echo had. In reality Lexa didn't blame Ravens hatred of her. Had Clarke been the one on that pillar sentenced to death, she wouldn't be able to forgive the person that ordered it either. But times were different then and it was the start of a rocky friendship between their people. She had since accepted Skaikru as her own and that applied to _all_ of them. Raven included. Even if Raven couldn't see that, Lexa would do her best to keep all of her people safe, even the ones that actively challenged her.

“I’ll be back after Karina’s funeral.” Lexa informed Echo and she responded with a swift nod. Lexa left the church to go check on Abby. She ran over an alternative plan to the situation in her head. She didn't trust Raven's pilot friend would just willingly sabotage the ship. She missed the flame, she missed the voices and the way she could bounce ideas off the other commanders. She hoped what she had planned would work and that Echo would follow her orders to do it.

\-------------

As Lexa entered the church, others were just settling to sleep. She eyed Echo at the back of the room and made her way over. A few of the people looked to smile at their commander as she walked past. She eyed Elias and he gave her a small nod. She returned it, along with a smile and made her way over to Echo.

“Echo,” she announced, and the spy stood immediately. Following the commander to a more private area of the church. “I need to discuss something with you. I assumed Raven’s plan did not work,” she said with a raised eyebrow. Echo shook her head, although it didn’t surprise her that the commander knew without asking.

“Diyoza is interviewing each of the defectors to learn trust correct?” She asked again and Echo nodded.

“I have the perfect way for you to gain her trust, _and_ get that keylogger onto the ship,” she said with surety.

“How?” Echo said hopeful. After Lexa explained the plan of exposing the pilot, Echo turned to look back at Raven who was sitting with her back to them.

“Raven’s not going to like it,” Echo sighed. Turning back to her commander.

“Raven isn’t used to doing things the way we are. All that matters are our people. Shaw is not our people. Raven is. Abby is. That army is. I trust Clarke has a plan. I don’t fully trust your boyfriend, but I know he trusts the same people as I do and that’s enough right now. We get them here and then we sort out the process of hand over if necessary. I will stop this war. But right now. I need you to do this.” Lexa said and Echo nodded. Echo wasn’t sure Raven would agree to expose Shaw, but she had to try. If not, she would take it into her own hands.

“I will do as you command.” Echo said and looked back at Raven who was now looking at both of them. Echo made a movement with her hand, summoning Raven over to them.

“Reshop Echo,” Lexa said with one nod.

“Reshop Heda,” she murmured as Raven reached them. Lexa left the building. Trusting Echo to get the plan done.

\-------------

Clarke had been worrying all day about Madi. She knew how excited she was to be around other children and Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the thought, but it didn’t change her concern.

She knew the children would be sparring for Octavia in the arena at the end of the day, so she made her way to watch Madi. Hopeful that with the reminder, Madi would continue to suck and not give Octavia any reason to drag her into politics.

The children were sitting waiting patiently as another two sparred in the centre. Clarke’s eyes fell on Madi who was watching intently.

As Octavia called Madi to fight Clarkes heart began to beat a little faster than normal. She tried to communicate with Madi using just her eyes, hoping it would be enough. Gaia was also worried, hoping Madi would be able to fool Blodreina better than she tried to fool her.

Madi’s eyes locked on Clarkes as she took the practice sword from the basket. She walked over in front of Ethan preparing for the fight.

As Ethan struck her Madi did her best to suck. As he continued to beat her, Clarke’s anxiety began to rise. Clarke watched as Madi started to block more than necessary. She watched as Madi’s anger rose and dread welled in Clarkes stomach. Madi didn’t like losing. Clarke had seen her determination over the years only grow.

She kept catching Madi’s eye, tilting her head, warning her not to do it.

In fact, she was screaming in her head for her not to do it. Don’t show your strength. Don’t do it Madi.

But Clarke could see Madi’s nightblood was starting to boil. Natblidas weren’t taught to be submissive. She had been taught most of her life by the greatest commander the grounders had ever seen. It wasn’t in Madi’s nature to fail. Just as it wasn’t in Lexa’s. Clarke could see how she couldn’t resist. How she had to put this boy on the ground.

The anticipation grew in Gaia and Clarke’s guts as they both realised the same thing. Madi wasn’t going to take the defeat.

Clarke could see the switch in Madi’s head. As she lunged to prepare for the next advancement, Clarke could see Madi start to anticipate Ethan’s moves.

She had seen this so many times before. As she sat with her canvas and paints across the clearing, Lexa and Madi would prepare to duel. She used to think it was cute, the way Lexa would pretend to be bad so Madi could feel strong. Over the years, she noticed how Lexa would have to pretend a lot less. How Madi began to predict Lexa’s moves before she did them, how she would lunge the same way Lexa did. Like a mirror. How her facial expressions began to mimic that of her teachers. How she learnt to fight with two blades, one in each hand, exactly like Lexa. By the time Madi was ten, they would dance in almost perfect synchronisation and by the end of it they would be laughing. Clarke had asked for training too; Lexa had taught her some combat but normally when they were alone much later in the day. It would lead into a very different kind of activity most of the time, but she still picked up things none the less. Combat training had been Lexa’s way to bond with Madi from the start. It was something special between them and Clarke knew Madi couldn’t stop her nurturing. She couldn’t help but be like Lexa. It was how she was raised.

Madi lunged, striking Ethan hard, knocking him back several steps. He was surprised by the sudden advancement and Clarke saw Octavia’s interest peak immediately. Clarke’s panic rose and she gave Madi another warning look.

But Madi wasn’t taking it. Clarke saw Lexa in Madi as she advanced again, swinging, and striking Ethan until he was on the floor.

“Enough!” Gaia called immediately. And Clarke noticed how the mask slipped from Madi’s face. How suddenly she was Madi again.

“Gaia fit her for armour and get her a real sword!” Octavia called as she descended into the arena.

“Madi we’re about to fight a war on your land. For your land, and I could really use a second who knows the terrain when we get there. What do you say Madi Kom Wonkru?” She asked her. Madi grinned up at her in delight. Clarke hated the sight. It turned her stomach and she felt anger like she had never felt it before.

Madi nodded in agreement and Octavia smiled triumphantly.

“All right then, we march as soon as the eye is down… I need to borrow her for a strategy session you don’t mind do you, Clarke?” She asked turning to Clarke who was doing extremely well to keep her anger bottled down.

“No, it’s fine,” Clarke managed to utter as she turned to leave. Her fake smile dropped. Her eyes focused on the wall in front of her as she walked away. As she unwillingly left her child with a tyrant.

But it didn’t matter now. Madi was not walking into a war. Clarke refused the mere thought of it and was going to do everything in her power to stop it.

She was done playing nice.


End file.
